


The Cyborg Life

by Magic_Amethyst80



Category: Psych
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2017-12-21 07:27:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/897534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magic_Amethyst80/pseuds/Magic_Amethyst80
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after Right Turn Left for Dead. When a medical problem from Shawn's past becomes an issue in the present everyone must adjust to a new normal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I thank my beta, Redwolffclaw for all of her help.**

**Disclaimer: The Characters from Psych are property of NBC/Universal, I do not own any of them.**

Two days had passed since all had happened, the wedding and Jules figuring out he wasn't actually psychic. He still felt like shit, perhaps worse. Overwhelming exhaustion was the only way it could be described. Perhaps it was a symptom of depression? Maybe it was because he was still hung over? Would being unhappy account for being completely wiped out by something as simple as sweeping the floor? Would it account for feeling like the act of walking from the Blueberry to the Psych office had been a marathon?

Could this have been the result the minor concussion after the cab he was in stopped short? Having almost been stabbed by the Swedish Nanny? Having almost been hit by a truck while investing what happened to her? Was he actually hit by a truck? Perhaps he was getting Chief Vick's cold? Did she have a cold, or had that been part of one of the strange dreams he had been having?

It was getting hard to tell what had actually happened, and what he simply thought up in his post concussive mind. Everything was a blur. Thinking about it, he had spent most of the past few days and nights sleeping on couches, the one in the Psych office that he was laying down on right now, and the one at Gus's. Everything was a strange fog.

He had even been feeling yucky the day of Lassie's wedding, at the Agua Verde Hotel and Casino. While Lassie was catching Herb Pollack, and Gus was trying to contact Rachel, he found himself nodding off on a slot machine.

Was it better to have everything in a weird fog than to face it? There was just too much on his plate right now between his break up with Jules, moving out of her house, and worrying that she might tell people his secret about not really being psychic.

He changed his position on the couch, and inhaled, but had a strange sensation that he wasn't getting enough air, no matter how deeply he attempted to breathe. He closed his eyes and laid back on the couch. The radio which was tuned to the local top 40 station, was playing that annoying Jason Mraz song about kids with cancer, or was it heart disease?

_Well then something on the surface it stings. Something on the surface, well it kind of makes me nervous._

He adjusted the big pillow and hugged it tightly to his sternum, the sensitive area that prevented him from buying t-shirts with v-necks. Whenever people asked about it, he would simply come up with an excuse, when he was seven a cat scratched him, he tried to imitate a sword swallower and failed, or that Freddie Kruger almost got him. It was from when he was seven; at least that part was true. Excuses were bad; telling lies was bad. Look what it did for his relationship.

_I won't worry my life away, I won't worry my life away._

He worried if Julies would ever take him back. He couldn't remember if she seemed to care when he was almost stabbed, again. Was she gone for good? Would she ever forgive him? His phone rang; he hoped it was her but when he saw it was his father, he simply pressed ignore on the screen. He was just too tired and worn out to carry on a conversation with anyone right now, especially his father. It didn't help that his father would probably just bother him for telling Jules he wasn't psychic.

_The tragedy is that you are going to spend the rest of your nights with the lights on_

He continued hugging the pillow tightly to his chest as he coughed. From when he was young he was told when coughing or sneezing, keep the pillow there, and keep it tightly there, just in case. Bracing was important for that area. After all these years he still feared that if he coughed or sneezed without holding a pillow to his chest his sternum would break causing his heart and lungs to pop out. From what he could remember, it was known as dehiscence, the re-opening of a surgical scar after surgery. The closed area opens, and out comes blood and internal organs Having that happen would be nasty, gross, and probably kind of cool.

_It all amounts to nothing in the end, I won't worry my life away..._

Gus turn that off," he hollered, which took most of the energy he had at the moment.

"You look like something off The Walking Dead," Gus replied, "and you have been on that couch all day. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, if it is a concussion it is minor." Truth be told, right now he simply couldn't afford to get sick. Having his appendix out set his dad back too much, even though the blow wouldn't as bad now that Gus insisted on him buying a medical insurance policy. But at the moment there was too much to lose with Jules knowing his secret on top of everything else. None of this could have been helping with his dad who was still recovering from being shot.

Thinking back to having his appendix out, maybe things would have been cheaper if his dad had not insisted on his being on the telemetry unit. Pain medication probably cost less than having the octopus suckers and things all over him. And he didn't need any of that, he was fine. There were no issues, nothing to worry about. Whatever happened, happened almost thirty years ago, ancient history. E.T had phoned home. Elliott had probably long since forgotten about ET and that whole ordeal. Had he? The connection the two of them had when ET had gotten sick, making Elliott sick as well. Poor ET, died, turned white, and had to be stuffed into a box resembling a refrigerator waiting to be dissected. Elliott survived.

* * *

_1984_  
  
 _"Congratulations, Shawn, you've graduated the ICU, and now you get to be on the pediatric cardiology unit," said the nurse as she wheeled him into the room. "And this is your new roommate, Danny," she said glancing at a brown haired boy on the other bed next to him. "Don't be afraid of Danny, he doesn't talk much, but he just had his heart operated on just like you." The boy had blond hair and pleasant a smile on his face, as he watched the TV above which was showing Masters of the Universe. Shawn commented "I just got castle Grayskull for Christmas."_

_"I am Skeletor," said the boy, who was supposed to be quiet, his voice sounded scary, but he was talking into something._

_"Snake Mountain, cool," responded Shawn, this kid had the best toy ever, Masters of the Universe Snake Mountain. Not only was it a mountain, but it was a mountain that you could make talk in a scary voice. This wasn't going to be so bad._

_Danny's eyes seemed to roll back into his head, and he suddenly got quiet._

_"Danny, Danny, wake up," Shawn screamed as the machine his roommate was hooked up to went from a series of steady beeps, to one long beep. A nurse walked in, and shouted "he is arresting," From the nurse's station in the hallway, he heard a loudspeaker saying Code Blue room 221, as a bunch of nurses, doctors, and other people came in. Even though they closed a curtain around Danny's bed, he could still hear all that was going on._

_"Danny," Shawn continued to scream, his own beeping machine getting faster, "charging to 350, clear," he heard the doctor say, "still no response."_

_A nurse came out from the curtain, "we should get this one out of here, or do something. His pulse rate has gone up to 132 and his pressure is 120/80." He suddenly felt calmer as he saw the nurse playing with his IV. He could hear from behind the curtain, "time of death, 4:45 PM." A few minutes later they closed the curtain around his own bed. He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep as he heard them rolling his friend out of the room. He could see from an area where the curtain wasn't completely closed that a blanket was over Danny's head. No more monitors were connected to him. Soon, his father would be telling him some story about how Danny was discharged, but he knew that wasn't true._

* * *

"Time to get up," insisted Gus. "We should go by Juliet's place and pick up your stuff, she will be back in a few hours, so we have time now."

"Just a few more minutes," responded Shawn.

Gus handed him his sneakers, "don't procrastinate and put these on."

Shawn took the sneakers, but something strange happened, for some reason they didn't fit. His feet were too swollen to get them on.

"What the fuck," gasped Gus his tone a lot more serious. His face conveyed a look of fear and concern, "do you know what swollen ankles means? When you spent the night watching that woman in the hospital did they really check you out?"

Shawn put his hand out to stop him, "Gus, don't be Skittles CGI'ed where there should be Reeses Pieces, its nothing. If I go to the hospital they will just run a bunch of useless tests, which will worry my dad. He has enough on his plate after being shot, I'm fine." He tried to get up, "just need a minute to catch my breath," he said before he collapsed to the floor unconscious.


	2. Chapter 2

_No, this wasn't happening,_ Gus thought to himself as he grabbed his phone out of his pocket, his hands shaking as he dialed 911. He was frozen, paralyzed with fear. He knew that he should probably be down there checking Shawn's pulse, and if there wasn't one remembering his CPR skills, but all he could do was stand there and worry. Why did calls to 911 need to ring? Simply trying to get through felt like forever.

Shawn began to come to, slowly opening his eyes. "You don't have to, I just got up too fast, I'm fine," his voice soft and weak.

Gus ignored him letting out a sigh of relief as his call was finally answered. "My friend just collapsed. He is thirty six years old, and he hasn't been feeling well for the past few days. Might be due to him hitting his head in a car accident two days ago. He also has a history of heart problems, and right now he has edema in his feet and ankles."

With those words he could see an exhausted glance of betrayal coming from Shawn. He knew he was never supposed to speak about it but in a situation like this? What would he tell Henry if he didn't do anything and something happened to Shawn? He never even spoke of the surgery in the first grade.

In all the years they had known each other, the one thing Shawn never said a word about was the scar on his chest. He never went anywhere without a shirt, even when he went swimming, he always wore a shirt or a wetsuit no questions asked. Heck, there was one time, when he walked in on him with Abby, the shirt was still on. It was something he was starting to worry about more and more especially now that they both were no longer in their late twenties. For years they had both had the same unhealthy diet. As recently as five years ago, they both were able to keep up athletically. But over the past few years, he had to admit that Shawn just didn't keep up, at first getting winded a little bit quicker. Nowadays he was probably at a point where Henry could outrun him in a race. But neither Shawn nor Henry seemed to want to admit that.

Numerous times, Gus had considered saying something to Henry about Shawn's decreasing ability to exercise, but never found a good time to do so. After an incident on the elliptical machine a few years ago, when Shawn passed out after thinking a bomb was attached to it if his heart rate went below a certain rate, he made it clear not to breathe a word to his father about what had happened. He told Juliet that that he didn't want his father to know how out of shape he had become, but Gus suspected there was a lot more to it. He and Shawn both worried about how Henry might react if he saw the note Juliet had written as a joke.

Gus glanced down at Shawn, who was still lying on the floor his eyes now closed. "It'll be okay, the ambulance will be here soon," he said his voice doing its best not to convey his nervousness.

"I'm fine," Shawn tried again to plead.

* * *

_1984_

_It was the first day back from President's week. The bulletin board of Mrs. Robinson's first grade classroom was still decorated with each student's handwritten biography of either Abraham Lincoln or George Washington. The other side was for the upcoming presidential election that had a poster of President Reagan, and one with all the Democratic candidates, including Walter Mondale, and Jessie Jackson. As they sat at their desks, which were arranged into neat little clusters of four or six, he noticed that Shawn's desk, which was across from his was empty. The teacher took attendance, then everyone gathered on the green carpet at the front of the classroom._

_The science teacher, Mrs. Sabenski walked in and turned on the projector. She then took out up slide with a giant a drawing of a human heart. "I usually show this to the fifth graders, but because of your classmate, you are getting this lesson now. Don't worry their won't be homework." The class nodded as she proceeded to explain how the human heart worked. Blood without oxygen went into the right atrium, then into the right ventricle, from the right ventricle the pulmonary valve pumped it out to the lungs. After going into the lungs and getting oxygen, it went back into the left atrium, into the left ventricle, then out to the body._

_She then paused, "But, sometimes children are born, and their hearts aren't like other people's. They have holes between ventricles, or valves which aren't formed correctly. Shawn is one of those children, when he was born, there was a hole between his left and right ventricle, along with a number of other problems. His family has taken him to the children's hospital in Los Angeles, to have one of the problems fixed."_

_When the science teacher finished, Ms. Robinson explained that he probably wasn't going to be in class for a long time. One girl, Lauren asked, "Is Shawn going to die?" Ms. Robinson didn't answer her question, she just told Lauren to sit in the hall because she had spoken without raising her hand. She told everyone else to go back to their seats, and that they were to be silent for the next half hour until lunch. Construction paper, crayons, little bottles of Elmer's glue, and glitter were passed out and the class was told to start writing get well cards for Shawn._

* * *

_When Gus hopped off the bus at the end of the day, the first thing he did was ask his mother the question he wasn't allowed to ask Mrs. Robinson, "Is Shawn going to die?"_

_"No, that is silly," his mother, Winnie answered. "What did your teacher say?"_

_"That Shawn's heart wasn't made right, and that he is in the hospital in LA. When a girl asked if he was going to die, Ms. Robinson made her sit in the hall while we wrote him get well cards."_

_"He probably isn't going to die," his mother responded dismissively, "the surgery was during the school break, and from what I have heard, he is doing well and he is recovering." He could tell his mother's tone that she wasn't telling the truth. It was the same tone she used when she spoke about Santa and the Tooth Fairy. His mother continued, "when you are saying your prayers before bed tonight, ask God to make sure that Shawn will be okay." She took him into her arms and gave him a hug._

_That night when he woke up and sneaked out of bed around 10:00 he overheard his mother angry on the phone. He could tell by her tone that it was probably his grandmother on the other end."She had no business telling that to a class full of six and seven year olds. I would rather her tell them that he is just sick, and can't be in school. What she said was too much for the first grade, why worry them all that their friend could die?"_

* * *

Gus was still anxious, waiting for the ambulance to come seemed to take hours. He finally heard the sound of it coming, then ran to the door to let the paramedics in. Along with the paramedics, he saw Chief Vick arriving in her car. "I came as soon as I heard them dispatching an ambulance to this address," she told Gus, who seemed very agitated.

She had known for all these years that something like this could potentially happen to Shawn, but usually he was so energetic she didn't think about it. However, during Lassiter's wedding he seemed worn out, and wasn't quite acting like his usual ebullient self. He did some dancing, but he sat down most of the time watching the action from the sidelines. She knew he and O'Hara were having some relationship issues, but seeing him so tired to the point where he seemed to scream out when she touched him was frightening. It brought back memories of the days when people would talk about Henry Spencer's poor kid who had a heart condition.

When she was a teenager, before she joined the force she had been at the car washes and pancake breakfasts the department held to help Henry and Madeline with the bills that had piled up after Shawn's heart operation. Local papers couldn't get enough of the adorable little boy who had endured so much. But eventually as the years went on, it was something which was never spoken about. Whenever Henry had brought him to work, there was never any mention of him being sick and everyone seemed to love Shawn. There was nothing his son couldn't do, and he was so proud of his boy. The only time she heard anything about the subject was a few years after the operation when Henry and Max DeBuono got into a fight during a Police Activity League baseball game. It was a hot day, and Max DeBuono, a paramedic who coached little league, didn't want Shawn playing in a game . Henry made a stink about how his kid was fine now, and had no problem, and it was wrong to leave him out. Max didn't want their to be a rivalry between EMS and the SBPD, so he let Shawn play.

When Shawn walked into her office years later, he never said anything about his ever having had surgery done. She had always wondered if that was part of the reason why he never became a police officer like his father. There were times she worried about something happening to him on a crime scene on days when it was too hot, but was afraid to say anything. Nothing about it was ever mentioned, when he was shot and kidnapped, poisoned, or when his appendix had to be operated on.

Gus and Chief Vick as the paramedics worked on Shawn. An oxygen mask was now on his face, and shirt was unbuttoned, so that the leads for a cardiac monitor could be attached. Everything that was being done made scar on his chest stand out more.

"His O2 is at 88 percent, and pulse is 30 BPM. Give him .5 milligrams of Atropine. and have the AED ready in case he doesn't respond," said one of the paramedics as they rolled him out and loaded him into an ambulance.

* * *

Shawn never felt so naked as he did with his shirt was unbuttoned and everyone staring at him. Usually, considering his line of work he didn't mind being the center of attention, but with his shirt opened and nothing underneath, people didn't see Shawn Spencer, psychic detective. They didn't see Shawn Spencer, part of the a Capella group Quarter Black. All the saw was Shawn Spencer, the sick kid who might die, the kid who people were afraid to invite over their homes out of fear that he would pass out.

When he wore a button down top without an undershirt because it was a hot day, he still felt self-conscious when people would stare it and he would occasionally get comments like, "that is some scar, are you a member of the zipper club?" Coming up with answers to that one was always kind of difficult, and usually his shirt was buttoned up shortly afterwards.

He still felt too tired as he was wheeled into the ambulance, despite the oxygen mask and whatever they were giving him in his IV. "Mr. Spencer, your heart is going just a bit slower than it should be. The drug we gave you before you isn't helping as much as we thought it would. We are going to do something called external cardiac pacing, it is kind of like a pacemaker, but it will be on the outside of your body. It will be a bit uncomfortable, but we will give you something to help with the pain. He nodded in and watched as she fiddled with a machine, which looked like a defibrillator. He felt them placing some type of cold sticky thing on his right shoulder, and then the lower left side of the top of his stomach. Whatever they were giving him for began to take effect, and things became fuzzier as he felt some type of jolts. He was reminded of countless films which took place in old mental institutions, shock treatments. If he weren't so tired, he would have been laughing.

* * *

Gus didn't know what to think as he sat in the passenger seat of Chief Vick's car. He felt guilty that he wasn't riding along with Shawn, but he hated hospitals, he hated ambulances, and he hated blood. Things were safer in her car.

"Do you want to call Henry, or should I?" Karen asked.

"I'll do it," he replied as picked up his phone, and nervously dialed.


	3. Chapter 3

Henry paced back and forth in his living room. He was tired because last night Juliet's stepfather, Lloyd had dragged him out to Luau night at Tiki themed Chinese restaurant to celebrate some museum getting a Polynesian display. The entire night he had to pretend Shawn and Juliet were still together after being offered mai tai after mai tai.

Shawn had certainly fucked up big this time. Why did he have to actually _tell_ O'Hara the truth? Did he have to spell out that he had been lying? Couldn't he have just made up another excuse? The kid was always good with making up with things on the fly, wasn't there some way that he could have spun it? And how could he have been so off his game that he gave the jacket with a piece of evidence in it to her? Usually Shawn was so detail oriented and focused that he would never accidentally give a piece of something like that up.

He picked up his phone to dial his son, but once again his call went straight to voicemail. He hated when Shawn did that. As he heard the beep he said, "Shawn, turn on your damn phone," before hanging up.

Were they going to prosecute? Was Shawn now going to spill everything to the chief and Lassiter? Would he now get into trouble? He hated the thought of the trouble he would get into over Shawn. There were worse things that the department had to deal with, things like corrupt cops, and corrupt former cops who went around shooting their partners. With all the corruption things like a psychic detective not really being psychic should be low on their priority list. But there was always the chance that someone who Shawn helped convict would sue the department. Shawn's ass and his ass would be the ones taking the fall. How could Shawn have done this when he was still recovering from the gunshot wound? Sure he was feeling fine now, and had recently been on an unscheduled trip to Mexico with Lloyd, but he still was traumatized by it. Could things get any worse? How much more stress could the kid cause him? He was getting way too old from these kinds of antics with Shawn. Retirement was supposed to be the time of your life when everything is stress free, you get to sit back and relax. Shawn was doing everything he could to ruin his retirement. How would Shawn feel when the inevitable day came when he caused his poor father a heart attack?

His phone began to ring has he fumbled for it. He still couldn't get used to using the damn thing, with its annoying ring tone and confusing touch screen. The caller ID said Burton Guster. Why was he calling? Henry picked up, and noticed there was something different in Guster's tone.

"Mr. Spencer, Shawn passed out in the Psych office. I'm with Chief Vick, and we're following the ambulance on way to the Cottage ER."

"Did they say what was wrong with him? What happened this time? Was it that damn death trap?" There was an awkward pause, he wondered what Shawn could have done now to get himself into the hospital once again that would raise his blood pressure.

Guster responded. "I think it's his heart, his ankles were swollen, and he has just been so tired. They were saying something about giving him atropine. They use that when someone's heartbeat isn't fast enough."

"Shit," he paused, as he attempted to stay calm. "I'll be right down there." he replied quickly grabbing the keys to his truck He then went to the drawer, and retrieved an old manila envelope with Shawn's medical history. Whenever something happened to his son, as had happened several times in the past few years, he always worried about Shawn's childhood heart problems. Up until now they were never an issue, Shawn was one lucky kid. In the past ten years Shawn had all kinds of medical emergencies from things like falls off his motorcycle, gunshot wounds, concussions after being knocked out, and even a burst appendix. With each one, he managed to come out okay it was miraculous considering what he had been through as a child.

But something about this just felt different. He somehow knew in the pit of his stomach this was going to be round three. First round happened when his son was a baby, the second when he was seven. For the past thirty or so years, they had been spared. Throughout Shawn's rebellious teens and early twenties everything was fine. At seventeen he was supposed to have another operation, but there were no problems so the doctors decided not to operate. Shawn should have been following up with cardiologists but Shawn being Shawn didn't worry about it.

Thirty years? He thought to himself then realized his son was getting up there in age. Late thirties are when it usually started. You think you're young, but then people your own age start dropping dead from heart attacks.

He couldn't help but remember Brendan Riley, his friend on the force, who he trained with at the academy. He had his first heart attack at thirty eight, not much older than Shawn was now. It was such a shock when it happened, and Brendan didn't have any previous heart issues. Unfortunately, the same couldn't be said for Shawn.

He nervously started the truck, and backed out of the driveway on the now frighteningly familiar route to the emergency room. He always knew that gunshot wounds and police corruption were a cakewalk compared to open heart surgery, and other horrors congenital heart defects had brought into his family's life. A familiar sense of dread was back in the pit of his stomach, he Maddie and Shawn would have to battle this demon once again.

* * *

1 _977_

_Henry woke up, it was 2:00 AM and something was just odd. Shawn was sleeping a bit too soundly. For the past few nights the newborn had been crying a lot. It wasn't a loud cry, but it was persistent to the point where neither of them could get any sleep. The weak cry, and the way his son didn't feed quite as voraciously as he would have expected were concerning to him._

_"Henry, we both need our sleep, I don't need him crying," said Maddie as she turned and closed her eyes._

_He had been hearing so much about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, on TV, in papers, and in magazines that it had him paranoid. He picked up his son, who seemed to wake, but something was off. He turned the light on. His eyes widened. "Maddie take him," he said as he rushed to the phone, and immediately dialed the dispatcher for the precinct._

_"It is officer Spencer, get an ambulance here now, something is wrong with my son. His lips, and his fingers are blue, and he is lethargic. "_

* * *

_You just had to be a hippie, and couldn't give birth to him in a normal hospital," said Henry, his stare piercing, as he nervously paced back and forth in the hospital's waiting room. They had been there for close to an hour as the doctors were trying to figure out what was wrong with their son. "Not only was he a breach, and almost died when you were giving birth, now he has something wrong with his heart."_

_He was fine last night, and the doula did a great job handling the breach." She responded, too frightened and tired to argue with her husband._

_"But she didn't listen to his heart, that is what any decent medical doctor would have done. If you had given birth to him in a hospital, they wouldn't have sent him home in the first place. I should never have let this happen._

_"We are in a hospital now Henry," is all she had the energy to say in response._

_"Yes, I know that Maddie, but if it were up to you, we would be seeing the medicine man? Right?"_

_"Just stop it Henry, we have already been through enough."_

_A nurse walked out, "Mr. and Mrs. Spencer, the doctor is ready to see you."_

_They walked into the hospital's newly built NICU, and saw their son, who just looked so small and fragile. His eyes closed, and he had a breathing tube sticking out of his mouth connecting to a ventilator. It almost seemed like there were more machines than baby. His tiny hands had huge IVs threaded through them. His chest was covered in wires for all kinds of different monitors._

_"I'm Doctor Walker," the man, who could not have been older than thirty extended his hand for a handshake. He directed them to the chairs, and instructed them to sit down, "Your son is having what is known as a hypercyanotic spell, due to not getting enough oxygen."_

_"Why isn't he getting enough oxygen?" asked Maddie._

_The doctor paused, "Shawn has a very tough road ahead for him, he what is known Tetrology of Fallot a congenital heart defect comprising of four abnormalities of the heart. The operation he needs isn't done at this hospital, so first thing tomorrow we are going to transfer him to Children's Hospital of Los Angeles._

_"Don't give me medical jargon, tell me exactly what is wrong with my son, and why he needs to be transferred and operated on," demanded Henry._

_The doctor took out a model of the human heart, and pointed to the lower part of the heart, "there is a hole between the right and left ventricles. He then pointed to a valve above the right ventricle, this is the valve which pumps blood out to his lungs. With your son's disorder the valve isn't strong enough to pump blood into his lungs. This causes the right ventricle to work harder than it should and be bigger than normal. He then pointed to the area above the left ventricle, his aorta, which is supposed to be above the left ventricle, is instead above the hole in his heart._

_Right now he needs to have a shunting procedure, switching the aorta and the pulmonary artery that way he should be able to get more oxygen. They are going to do that shortly after he is transferred._

_At about six months old, the hole in his heart is going to need to be patched and we will reverse the shunting procedure. When he is older, his pulmonary valve is going to be completely replaced in another open heart procedure._

_Maddie seemed to be in shock, as tears rolled down her face as she processed the information._

_"What are his chances?" asked Henry, his tone somber._

_"He should be fine after the shunting procedure, but that isn't to say it isn't without significant risk with each operation."_

_Henry sat and buried his face in his hands, he hated to show emotion, but after learning this? His baby needed at least two heart operations. How was he going to cope? How were they going to cope? How would they explain this to their families? Take time off from work when their son was sick? Find a place to stay as their son was being operated on, in a town away from their homes?_

_"We'll get through this Maddie," he said as he hugged his wife, "Shawn is a fighter."_

_"I hope he is," she replied._


	4. Chapter 4

The EMTs or were they paramedics? He never quite learned the difference between them, seemed to be on auto pilot. He was probably one of many heart patients they had transported that day, most likely the only one under forty, but still just another heart patient. He still couldn't believe that this was happening to him. After all these years symptom free he was now in an ambulance having problems with his heart which were so bad that they needed to shock him.

As they rolled to the hospital, even though he wasn't really psychic he could predict what they would be doing. It had been so long. Things had changed, but the more things changed, the more they stayed exactly the same as they were when he was a child. First would be an echocardiogram, which was going to find something wrong. Afterwards, there would be the inevitable trip to the cardiac catheterization lab.

They found him a parking spot in the emergency room and drew the curtain around him. A friendly nurse, or was it nurse practitioner, came with a notepad. Her hair was a fake color of auburn, her face round and pleasant. From the name tag on her peach colored scrubs he could see that her name was Amy.

"Hi Amy," he took off his oxygen mask to greet her.

"Is there anything we should know about in your medical history?" She said glancing at the scar on his chest.

Shawn was silent for about ten seconds, as he thought up an answer.

"Something like Pentology of Wolf," he smiled. "Had operations when I was a baby and when I was seven. Was supposed to be back for another one when I was older but things were fine and I didn't need it."

"When did you start feeling sick?" she asked.

"All week. I've been kind of tired but the past few days have just knocked me on my ass. Two nights ago, on my way home from a wedding I hit my head in a car accident which just made things worse. Didn't help that I may have been run over by a semi, and that a chick stabbed me." He leaned forward so that the healing wound on his back from where Elin stabbed him could be seen.

She made a note in her chart, "We'll have someone look at your head and back, just in case. But, judging by what happened in the ambulance and your medical history, the issue here is most likely your heart." She said then took some type of rubbery thing and tied it around his forearm, "We need to get a blood sample." She then looked for a good vein. Just when she found one and was about to stick the needle in, Shawn abruptly turned his head away, closed his eyes and squeezed his nose. He had seen on an episode of _Empty Nest_ back in the day that if you close your eyes, and squeeze your nose as tightly as possible, blood tests and injections didn't hurt. While he knew that probably wasn't true, concentrating on squeezing his nose as tightly as possible lessened the sting. Once she got the sample, she walked off.

Five minutes later, another woman came by with a sonogram machine for an echocardiogram, a procedure in which they get a picture of the heart using sound waves to see what is going on.

"Mr. Spencer, the gel will feel cold but it won't sting," The woman said as she spread gel across his chest. It felt cold but not at all painful. In fact, part of him wished that it was Jules doing it. He glanced at the black and white screen, but could make no sense of the images on it. They reminded him of on TV when numerous pregnant women got sonograms. Those were always such happy moments, seeing a baby for the first time with its little heartbeat.

"Is girl or a boy? Will I get to be just like Arnold Schwarzenegger in _Junior_? Will Danny DeVito help me?" He asked, attempting to insert a tiny bit of humor into the situation. The woman smiled, as she continued to focus on what she was doing. He could tell that things were probably not too good based on her expression.

As soon as she was finished, he laid back and closed his eyes. He wished he were here with Jules, the sonogram being on her belly to find out what gender little Starfish Spencer would be.

His heart was kind of like the San Andreas Fault; something bad was due to happen and should have happened years ago, but there was nothing he could do about it. When he last was examined for this at age seventeen, the examination that was supposed to lead to open heart surgery number three, the cardiologist said that things were fine. He didn't need more open heart surgery at that point, which had been a reprieve. He had twenty years of freedom not having to worry about this.

After the echocardiogram was finished, he was left alone once again, waiting for what was next. The cath lab.

The thought of being in a catheterization lab scared him. He still had nightmares about that room from when he was young. Having tubes threaded through his neck into his heart was always intimidating. _It would be fun to have them do it again._ He tried to tell himself. _It isn't every day that you see a live shot of what is going inside of you._ Perhaps he could record it and put it onto You Tube? Find some way of using it to torture Lassie?

The more he thought about the impending test, the faster his heart began to beat, and the quicker the beeping of the monitor next to him sounded. Before he knew it, he was surrounded by more doctors and nurses. He heard one of them saying something about "he is going into v-tac," before everything went black.

* * *

As Henry walked into the now familiar hospital ER waiting area, he found Gus and Chief Vick.

He looked Gus in the eye, "What happened?"

"He stayed at my place last night, and this morning I had a lot of trouble waking him. When I took him to work the first thing he did was lay down on the couch to go back to sleep. I went to see a few doctors on my route when I got back he was still asleep. We were supposed to go to Juliet's to pick up some of his stuff when she wasn't home. I went to get him his shoes and I noticed that his ankles were swollen. He tried to get up, and passed out."

"I should have realized something was off the other day when-" he paused. He almost said something about how Shawn revealed to Juliet that he wasn't psychic, but Chief Vick was in the room. "…he was investigating the case the other day, the Swedish girl. He seemed tired and off his game. He said he hit his head in a car, and said that they checked him out when he was staying in the hospital with her. A bump on the head usually doesn't make a person that tired. If they did and they let him leave they're getting their asses sued off."

"When I asked him if they had really checked him out, he implied they hadn't." Gus responded in a reassuring tone. It was hard enough handling Shawn after Henry was shot in the chest. Somehow he had a bad feeling that handling Henry when Shawn was sick was going to be worse. Even though this was no one's fault, Henry was the type of person who needed a punching bag and liked to find someone to blame.

Chief Vick excused herself to answer her cell phone. As soon as she left, a physician's assistant walked out. "Family of Shawn Spencer?" she asked.

Henry and Gus walked over, "I'm his father, what is going on?" He said as he walked up and gave him a folder containing his medical history.

"Your son is having problems with his heart. When he was initially taken in in the ambulance, his heart wasn't beating fast enough, and his oxygen saturation levels were low. Following cardioversion in the ambulance his heart rate returned to normal. His oxygen sats got better after he was given an oxygen mask."

"What's a cardioversion?" Henry asked.

"They used an electric device which is kind of like an external pacemaker," explained the PA. "Shortly after he arrived we were able to get an echocardiogram, but afterwards he had a setback and went into ventricular tachycardia. We had to defibrillate him a second time. He is stable now and on anti-arrhythmia drugs."

"We are going to have to call in a cardiologist. Usually in someone your son's age, we call in the adult cardiologist. However, considering your son's history, and the fact that his problems are most likely due to a congenital heart defect I called in Dr. Walker. He is pediatric cardiologist."

"Him? Is he the only one? I can't believe he is still in practice," responded Henry, who seemed nervous and unhappy about something. "He is a coward."

"Is there anyone else?" Asked Gus nervously.

"No one else who is on call." the PA responded.

"Is Pooja Singh on staff here?"

"Yes but she isn't on call today."

Gus quickly got out his work cell phone. Dr. Singh had recently moved into Santa Barbara after residency in San Francisco, with a number of prominent doctors in pediatric cardiology. Her specialty was children, and adults with congenital heart defects, something he never really thought of until now. He hoped she would want to take this case, if she didn't she would be getting fewer free samples of fine Central Coast Pharmaceuticals products.

Dr. Singh's office," Maria, Dr. Singh's office manager answered the phone.

"It's Burton Guster, your Central Coast rep, it is a personal issue, is Dr. Singh around?"

"She isn't here, but I can page her, what is going on?"

"An emergency with a friend, I need her to call me as soon as possible." He left both the numbers for his business phone, and his personal phone.

As soon as he finished the call, he walked over to Henry, "I left a message with Dr. Singh, she should be calling me back." He was a bit relieved that he had given her his personal phone, number because the reception in the ER on his business phone was down to one bar.

Henry was now at Shawn's bedside. Shawn still looked weak and tired. His eyes were half open, and was now wearing a hospital gown. An oxygen mask was still on his face, and an IV was in his wrist.

Shawn removed his oxygen mask and looked at his father, "Ah Dad, you're the Shirley MacLaine to my Debra Winger, the Sally Field to my Julia Roberts." Shawn said thinking of the films _Terms of Endearment_ and _Steel Magnolias_ , infamous chick flicks all of them had been forced to watch at various times in his life.

"Shut up kid," replied Henry, a hint of relief in his voice. At least his boy had not lost his sense of humor.

"Now I have to think about which Magnolia Gus will be? Or is he Debra Winger's cool friend who moves to New York? Nah, Gus is Dolly Parton, Lassie gets to be Shirley MacLaine, and that leaves Buzz to be Daryl Hannah. Jules gets to be Dylan McDermott."

"Dolly Parton? That's insulting Shawn. If you are going to cast me as Truvy from _Steel Magnolias_ it should be Jill Scott. You know from the Lifetime version."

"When did you start watching Lifetime? You aren't in their target demographic?"

"I watch them when I want moving drama." he responded.

"I haven't been causing you enough stress. You have to watch Lifetime? I'm insulted, and can I have some red velvet armadillo cupcakes?"

Just then Gus' phone rang. It was Dr. Singh, and he walked away in order to speak to her.

"I got your call, what is the problem?" Gus remembered that Dr. Singh's bedside manner wasn't the greatest. While she was able to work miracles in the operating room, socializing with her, and carrying on a conversation with her were always difficult. She never quite knew how to correctly relate to people.

"A friend of mine is having heart issues. He had some type of a heart defect when he was born, and earlier today he passed out due to problems with arrhythmias."

"I'm supposed to be making rounds later. I'll come by and have a look at the case. I should be there in about an hour."


	5. Chapter 5

Juliet sat in the car as Lassiter pulled into the station three hours later than they had intended to. It had been a long day with two cases to investigate, and she'd turned her phone off. She told Lassiter it was so that she wouldn't be distracted, but truthfully it was so that she would not have to deal with Shawn calling about something annoying. If Shawn needed to call them the call would go through her partner.

She spent the entire day expecting that at some inappropriate time Shawn would pop up out of the blue with some stupid excuse to see her. When he did, he would beg for her to take him back proclaiming his undying love. Perhaps it would be when they were at the museum investing the disappearance of Polynesian artifacts? She was mortified as to what Shawn and Gus were going to pull there. Would they mess up some exhibit? They had a bad habit of doing that in museums and historical places. Maybe they would turn up when she was at the Meitner School for Gifted Students investigating who had shot the new headmaster? So far though, Shawn had been good today leaving her alone, giving her some much needed space.

Right now he should have been at her house packing up his stuff, but knowing him he probably wasn't. She expected he would be coming by later tonight while she was home, so that he would have a reason to visit and not leave.

She was still angry that he had lied to her for so long. Deep in down, she knew that he wasn't really psychic and was faking, but she hated the way he wouldn't admit that to her. She understood why he would be afraid to tell her after she broke up with Declan and the issues with her father, but still, he could have and should have come clean when their relationship started getting more serious. He kept up the lie when they slept together, and even when they moved in together. He didn't seem to understand that she was hurt because he was lying. It made it worse that he never intended to sit her down and tell her the truth. In fact he still seemed to regret giving her his jacket, which was just sad and pathetic.

She walked into the station and, to her relief, it was Shawn free. She greeted Buzz McNab who was at his desk. There was something off about his expression. "What is it Buzz?"

"How is Shawn doing? Is everything okay?" asked the officer.

"Um," she paused, why was he asking about Shawn? Was something wrong? Or even more likely had he pulled another stupid stunt? Did he manage to get himself hurt doing it? Did he do it in order to get her attention?

Before he had a chance to respond Chief Vick called her and Lassiter into her office. She was apprehensive about what she would want to see them for. Had she done something wrong?

"Sit down O'Hara." said Chief Vick. Juliet recognized the tone in her voice, it was the one she used when she needed to tell someone bad news which worried her.

"What is going on?" She asked nervously , hoping that she wasn't being reprimanded for something. There was nothing she could think of offhand that would have the Chief giving her a talk.

"I just got back from the hospital," The Chief paused, "Shawn is having heart problems and had to be taken to the Emergency Room. Henry and Gus are there with him right now."

"Oh my God," gasped Juliet. "What happened?" her face conveying an expression of shock.

He passed out in the Psych office. Gus called 911, I went to help out. When I got there Gus was agitated while EMS took care of Shawn. I ended up driving Gus to the ER where he met Henry. They were getting ready to admit him when I had to leave."

She suddenly remembered the scar on Shawn's chest. The one he always told her was from a fire when he was a child. Apparently he wasn't being truthful about it either, but did it matter? He was in the hospital because of heart problems. He was about anything that required him to take off his shirt because of the scar. By the way he was obsessive about it, she had a feeling there as more to the story than what he told her. Even on trips to a nice spa, he dragged his feet, or more accurately kept socks on his feet when they were going to the pool.

She took out her cell phone and attempted to dial Gus, but the call went straight to voice mail. She tried to call him again and there was no answer.

"Gus isn't answering, I hope it isn't because something bad is happening?" She said, her tone getting more and more nervous. She felt Lassiter's re-assuring hand on her shoulder.

"Knowing Guster, he probably went to get a corn dog. I'm sure Spencer is going to be just fine. Its probably nothing, like the time he thought he was poisoned. Spencer always likes to play up illnesses to get attention."

Juliet hoped he was right.

A minute later Juliet's cell phone rang.

It was Gus "Juliet, sorry I missed your call." His tone was somewhat hushed.

"Chief Vick told me what happened."

"Yeah, they had to shock him twice because of irregular heartbeats, and now they have him on anti arrhythmia drugs which seemed to have knocked him out. We're waiting in the ER for a cardiology consult and he is taking a nap."

"I'll go and get some of his stuff, then meet you there. Keep me posted on what's happening"

"Will do," responded Gus as she hung up her phone.

"I need to go back to my place," she said as she rushed out of the chief's office towards her desk quickly gathering up whatever she needed to take home.

"I'll take you," said Lassiter. "Right now you're too much of a nervous wreck to be driving properly."

Just as they were exiting, they were met by Woody the pathologist.

"Hey, I heard about Shawn." He put a comforting hand on Juliet's shoulder, "I'll keep Henry and his ex in my thoughts. If they need me I'll be around. I'm always good at getting to the bottom of mysterious heart ailments.

His comments only elicited glances of pure anger from both Lassiter and Juliet who ignored him as they walked out of the station.

As soon as they left Woody turned to Buzz McNabb, "I should have been a bit more sensitive."

If Gus had not called 911 chances are Shawn would have been his "patient." One of the things he always hated doing was playing find the heart defect, after a young, healthy person collapsed due to sudden cardiac arrest. Removing a person's heart then dissecting it to find the minor defect that caused the person's untimely demise was boring and difficult compared to determining how a person had been murdered. But there was the case of the seventeen year old track star who dropped dead after a race. It was up to him to find out whether it was hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, or poisoned Gatorade. It had been hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, something that athletes should have been screened for.

He had always been curious to know the story with Shawn Spencer, ever since noticing the scar on his chest. It was most likely from a midline sternectomy, when they saw the sternum open for open heart surgery.

He asked Buzz, "Do you know if he plans to donate his body to science?"

"Not sure" responded Buzz who was shifting uncomfortably, not sure how to respond to such an abrupt and inappropriate question.

"If he does, can you ask Henry for a huge favor, I would like to have Shawn's heart and brain? Shawn's brain will be on display in my office in a huge jar of formaldehyde. There will be a tag for all to see saying that it is the brain of the great Shawn Spencer. It might also fetch a lot on eBay or Amazon. Shawn's heart would be perfect for my collection of deformed hearts."

"I'll.. uh see what I can do?" Buzz answered quickly before making a hasty retreat from the disturbing conversation.

"Huh." He shrugged, watched the large police officer slink away,then headed back to the morgue. He walked over to his latest patient, "I hope Buzz wasn't going to ask for himself. Never thought he would be into that kind of thing, he doesn't seem like the type, but you never know." He made an incision into her chest. "I really did want his heart for my collection. Defective hearts like that are hard to come upon. I would be willing to let him have the brain if he really wants it."


	6. Chapter 6

They all hated the waiting game. Shawn slept as Henry and Gus sat patiently. It had been an hour since Gus had called Dr. Singh and Chief Vick had gone back to the station to take care of police business. The ER had informed them that Shawn would be admitted to the cardiology unit as soon as a room became available. Gus excused himself, he was hungry and he needed to run to the hospital cafeteria to pick up some things for dinner.

As soon as Gus was gone Shawn began to stir. A short woman in her early forties with dark eyes, and long dark hair tied back in a simple ponytail walked over to them. Shawn looked at her, and put his hands to his temples, "Let me guess you are Dr. Singh."

The doctor smiled, and extended her hand for a handshake, "He didn't tell me you were the patient, but I think I know who you are, Shawn Spencer, the psychic detective right?"

"You are correct." responded Shawn, he glanced at his father "And this is my father Henry." Henry extended his hand for a handshake.

She looked at Shawn, "I've heard so much about you in the papers, and in the news. It is always exciting when Burton comes to my office with tales of what the two of you have been up to."

Dr. Singh continued changing the subject. "I'll be looking over your echocardiogram, electrocardiogram and medical history which will give me an idea of what is going on." She left them waiting.

Fifteen minutes later Dr. Singh returned, the expression on her face rather serious and somber in comparison to the friendly one from when she introduced herself.

Shawn smiled, "Good news or bad news?"

She didn't answer the question immediately, which can only mean not so great news, "I've looked over your tests, and there are two major issues you should be aware of. The first, and most important issue right now is the irregular heartbeat. There are electrical impulses that cause the heart to expand and contract. Those impulses follow a very specific pathway, similar to the way the wires in your house control the lights. When someone has had congenital heart defects repaired, it leaves scar tissue in the heart. Scar tissue often interferes with the paths the electrical impulses of the heart are supposed to take, causing the heart to beat irregularly. To fix this, we are going to have to put in either a pacemaker, or more likely an implantable cardiac defibrillator."

"Intercontinental ballistic missile? What is that?" asked Shawn, his tone nervous yet curious.

She chuckled at Shawn's mispronounciation, "A pacemaker only corrects irregular heart rhythms but it can't shock the heart in case it stops beating. An implantable cardiac defibrillator does essentially the same thing as a pacemaker, but it can also give shocks to the heart in case it stops. I want to see how you do over the next two days in the hospital before I decide what will be best. I can't make the final decision before I see results of a cardiac MRI, cardiac catheterization, stress test, and tilt table test, as well as see how you respond to the drugs we give you.

"Great, I'm going to be stuck here for the next few days." Shawn said, rolling his eyes. "And what type of surgery do they use to put it in?"

"It’s relatively simple, and done under conscious sedation in the cardiac catheterization lab. They cut a pocket for the device, and then string the electrodes through a vein to your heart. The procedure to put either and ICD or a pacemaker in is the same. It isn't difficult or risky."

"So more fun in the cath lab," replied Shawn. Hopefully he wouldn't remember the experience. Conscious sedation meant being kind of awake, but drugged and out of it the entire time, when all was done, everything was forgotten.

The doctor continued, "The other major issue we need to discuss is that your pulmonary valve needs to be replaced. We saw in the echocardiogram that your right ventricle is enlarged, and your oxygen saturation levels are low. This is because the pulmonary valve isn't functioning correctly. The valve pumps blood out from the lower right ventricle to the lungs. Right now blood is leaking back into the ventricle instead of going to the lungs and because if this you aren’t getting enough oxygen. The right ventricle has also started to enlarge due to the increased amount of blood, and the increased amount of work it has to do to pump the extra blood out. "

"So this means he needs another open heart surgery?" Henry asked, a tone of dread in his voice.

"Most likely in this case, we will go with an open procedure. We don't have to do it now, though. You might want to get a second opinion on it, but it does need to be done within the next few months."

Henry nodded, attempting to maintain his emotionless facade as he processed the information. "What are you going to do to replace his valve?"

"In someone Shawn's age it is best to use a mechanical valve. We could put in a tissue valve, but those only last ten to fifteen years then another open heart surgery is required to replace them. We want to minimize surgical intervention as much as possible so it isn't advisable.

With a mechanical valve, there are issues to be aware of. It can cause small blood clots which can lead to strokes. Because of this, after the operation he is going to have to be on anti-coagulant medication. "

"Also known as rat poison Yay!" Shawn answered sarcastically. He remembered the doctors telling him about this the last time around, when he was supposed to have this surgery as a teenager. The ingredient in blood thinners, waferin, was the same stuff they used in rat poison. Rats ate it, bumped into something then bleed to death. When humans took it they had to be careful not to do anything that could cause injury, because they would bleed to death like the unfortunate rats. Not having to be on that stuff made him appreciate his Norton and his active lifestyle even more because he knew that someday he would be a human water balloon. That someday was now in the not to distant future.

"And what happens to me between now and the surgery? Will I be able to do anything?" Shawn asked.

 

"Before the valve replacement surgery, and after you leave the hospital, your level of functioning will be somewhat decreased. The ICD will prevent you from having arrhythmias, but things like exercising and activities that require a lot of walking will become increasingly difficult."

Shawn took a deep breath as he let the news sink in. He wasn't going to be leaving this hospital all healed and fixed and as good as he was before. Instead he would be leaving a cyborg, not getting better until he relived the most traumatic thing he had ever experienced. One thing was for certain, his days of chasing bad guys all around crime scenes were probably over. And about Jules? Why would she still want him? It was bad enough that to her he was nothing more than a worthless a liar, but now not only was he that, he was a liar who was stuck in an old man's body. She was gorgeous and physically fit? He was damaged goods. She could easily get someone who wasn't damaged goods. Maybe there was no reason to be all that worried? Was there a point going on if she wasn't going to be taking him back?

Heck was there a point in going on being part cyborg, part Baby Feels So Real Doll? He remembered the fragile dolls filled with goo that the girls used to have when he was a camp counselor . Those things had to be handled carefully or else they would "bleed" with the clear goo inside them leaking out everywhere. In retrospect he regretted laughing at the Great Dolly Car Wreck of 1992, when two boys used one of those dolls as a crash test dummy. They had stolen one, put it on the back of a large, remote control car, then raced the it down the steepest hill they could find. The doll went splat, leaking mysterious, scary ooze all over the scene. Back then he never imagined he could end up being just like the poor doll.

Shawn's serious expression changed in an attempt at humor. He looked at the doctor and asked, "Will I be able to get around? Or is it time to call the Scooter Store and order the Rascal I've always wanted? Those things look like such fun! After I get out of the hospital, will I still be able to use a microwave, or will I have to heat up Chinese food in the stove? Heck, will I still be able to eat normal Chinese food, or will I be stuck with the steamed sauce on the side crap?"

She smiled, entertained by Shawn's humorous antics, which were an obvious method of coping with distressing news. Everyone had their coping mechanisms, and humor was always a good one. "You'll be able to get around, but slower than what you are used to, and will probably tire more easily and require more sleep."

She continued, "Microwaves should be safe, but after this you are going to have to be careful with airport security. You'll have a card that you will need to identify yourself and will You are also going to have to use caution with cell phones, try not to keep it on within six inches from the site. There is a chance that the device could mistake the cell phone signals for a irregular heart beat."

"So no keeping an iPhone in a jacket or vest pocket or I'll be electrocuted?"  
The doctor shook her head. "Not electrocuted, the device might just initiate the wrong heartbeat."

"Hey Dad, if I can't go up a flight of steps, can we get one of those chair lift things installed at home? Like the one in Gremlins, where they get that old lady." Shawn asked.

"Not on my dime," Henry snapped back.

Just then a group of orderlies came, off to take Shawn for a cardiac MRI followed by a trip to the catheterization lab. Afterwords he would have to lie on his back for the standard two to six hours. It would give him plenty of time to process the totally awesome news of the day.

As he was being wheeled out Shawn looked at his father, "This is going to suck." The expression on his face sad and depressed.

The only response Henry could think of was a fist bump. "I'll see you later."

As soon as Shawn was gone, and no one was looking Henry kicked a wall in frustration, this wasn't fair. He would once again have to be the strong parent and watch his poor kid suffer. Yes, Shawn had always been a fighter, but preparing and training for fights was hard. Then the actual fight was always the hardest.

What could he have done to prevent this? With all of his powers of observation, he felt so guilty that he didn't notice that something was seriously wrong with his own son.

After all he and Maddie went through when Shawn was a child, he should have done something to ensure that this didn't happen. Shawn owed it to himself, and both of his parents to keep on top of his health. But then again Shawn was immature, irresponsible, afraid of doctors, and what they might find. He was incapable of planning ahead for his future, only keeping track of the now.

He wondered what he could have done to make sure his son had followed up with a cardiologist as he desperately needed to do? Would threatening to take him off his car insurance unless he saw a doctor had helped? Threatening not to pay his cell phone bill?

Shawn had been so tired the day he came over and told him about what happened with Juliet. Instead of yelling at him for telling Juliet that he wasn't Psychic,he should have driven him to the emergency room and made sure that damn bump on his head looked at. But right now there was there was nothing he could do, but sit back and worry. What happened to Shawn now was between Shawn and the big man in the sky.


	7. Chapter 7

Gus walked back from his trip down to the hospital cafeteria smiling. He was able to snag the last three slices of square shaped frozen pizza before it closed. Part of him had momentarily forgotten where he was, and why he was there, and got excited for the simple pleasure of a slice of low rent pizza. The crust would taste like cardboard, the sauce would taste like paint, and the cheese would taste nothing like real pizza cheese. But, the whole thing would taste like pure unadulterated nostalgia. All he needed was some slightly sour chocolate milk and he would be whisked away to his youth.

When he returned to the ER, only Henry was still there. He could see from the angry expression that things were probably not good.

"Pizza?" asked Gus offering Henry a slice. "I got the last of it," he said as he took a bite.

"While you were gone the doctor you called came and saw him. They're going to keep him for the next few days and put in a pacemaker, or something that she says is a step up from a pacemaker, some type of an implantable defibrillator."

Gus put the slice of pizza he was eating down. Suddenly the taste of bad pizza wasn't enjoyable anymore. All he could do was sit in silence looking down at his food.

"And if that isn't bad enough, he needs more open heart surgery," Henry blurted out.

"Now?" Gus looked up nervously.

"Not now," Henry paused, his piercing glare looking at Gus as if he were stupid, "within the next few months is what she said. I'm going to have to see if I can make an appointment for a second opinion with the person who operated on him the last time around in LA, that is if he is still in practice."

"Where did they take him?" asked Gus.

"Out for a cardiac MRI, and a catheterization, they say they are going to do a bunch of other tests over the next few days before they put the thing in."

He wished he could say more to comfort Henry, but right now Gus was just in a quiet state of shock as he watched Henry nervously pace back and forth.

Henry looked down, "How could he go for so long ignoring this, not seeing a cardiologist? He's an idiot for telling Juliet about the Psychic thing, we would have so much less to worry about if he weren't so stupid and careless."

Gus halfheartedly nodded in agreement.

Henry continued, "But then again she could have been a bit more considerate." He paused, his speech becoming more rapid, and his face taking on a shade of red Gus had only witnessed when Henry was at his angriest. He had never seen Henry this angry at someone other than Shawn. "If she had only been a bit more understanding he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. He was fine before she dumped him, forced him to move out of their home, and threatened his job. He didn't do anything to warrant the way she is treating him. She is a smart girl, she should have had a clue that Shawn didn't have any magical powers. And to think I was encouraging him to propose."

Gus responded, "Don't go there, just don't go there. This isn't her fault," he said attempting to eat his pizza, and hoping that Henry would change the subject.

"Did Shawn ever get around to going to her place to pick up his stuff? Maybe I should go get some of it?"

"Before, when I spoke to her on the phone she said she would be by later to bring him some of his things."

"How come she isn't here _now_?" His tone managing to become even angrier. As his face turned a shade redder, he yelled, "If the selfish little bitch actually gave a damn about him about him she would have dropped everything to be here."

Gus was at a loss for how to respond, calmly telling Henry, "I think she and Lassiter were working on some cases, their day was busier than usual." He hated the idea of Henry getting involved in things between Shawn and Juliet especially when Shawn was sick.

"Let me know when she gets here, I need to speak to her about some things," grumbled Henry.

Gus suddenly regretted letting Mr. Spencer know that she would be coming. "Look Mr. Spencer, if you do that you'll only make things worse." He paused to catch his breath, and prevent himself from getting unusually angry. He hated being forced into the role of peacekeeper, but right now he had no choice. "The last thing Shawn needs right now is having to worry about you interfering in his relationship. Stay out of it for Shawn's sake, my sake, and your own sake. This isn't anyone's fault."

Henry responded, "Why are you defending her? What kind of a friend are you being? Aren't you the least bit pissed off after what she did? She could have done something to lessen the blow without disrupting his entire life, or showing a tiny bit of concern at a crime scene when her boyfriend, and good friend of six years was almost stabbed." He paused, "He has already been through enough with what happened with his mother. I wonder if she is happy now that she gave him a heart attack? Didn't she have any clue that there is only so much stress that he can take? She is a God damn detective in the SBPD for Christ sakes. Is she seriously stupid enough to believe he solved all of those cases because he was really psychic?"

"I _don't_ think she is happy now," Gus paused, attempting to regain composure. "I don't like the way she is treating him, but don't lay this on her. Blaming her and starting a fight accomplishes nothing. Stay here, stay with Shawn, he needs you right now. If you do this you'll lose your son. Don't force him to choose between you and Juliet, because you sure as hell know who he is going to choose. Remember, you lost him for ten years, I lost him for ten years."

Thinking of Shawn's mother Maddie, Gus asked, "Have either you or Shawn called his mom?" Gus guessed that Maddie was probably somewhere far away. She did come back and stay for quite a while though after Henry had been shot. By what was happening now he guessed that she probably would be returning to town, perhaps for good.

"When Shawn is done with the tests I'm going to ask him about calling her."

"Maybe you should call her now, she really should know. Also, you're a ticking time bomb right now and she might be good at defusing you." Gus suggested. Better her being the one to keep Henry away from Juliet than him, she was a professional after all.

"I'll leave that up to Shawn," he then paused "Talking about defusing a bomb, I should have said something after Juliet tried to kill him on an elliptical machine with a note and a telephone. Do you still have that Post It in her handwriting about his heart going above 150 beats per minute? I think we could nail her with it."

Gus turned his eyes to avoid answering the question and saying anything about Henry's accusation. He nervously suggested, "You know what, maybe I'll call Maddie. I really think it is important that she know what is going on," he said bringing his cell phone out. He hoped that he still had her cell phone number, and that she would answer. He found her number and started dialing.

Gus's dialing was met with protest, "Guster I told you it is up to _him_ whether _his_ mother knows about this. What the fuck are you doing? You have no right..."

"Gus how are you?" answered Maddie, her voice cheery. He pushed the speakerphone button on his phone. Henry took a deep breath, attempted to regain some composure, and turned towards Gus's phone "Maddie we are at the hospital. Are you sitting down?"

Before he could finish she asked, "Is it Shawn? Is everything okay?"

Gus started to explain the same story he told Henry but Henry interrupted him, "He is in the hospital with irregular heartbeats. They are running tests on him now, but the cardiologist says he is going to need some type of a pacemaker now, and more open heart surgery in the next few months." At that moment, there was a pause.

Gus heard a familiar male voice in the background "Maddie what is going on?" Gus actually recognized the guy, Larry, Maddie's best friend. He hadn't seen the guy in at least twenty years. Larry was always fun, in a lot of ways he was the anti-Henry. While Henry was a tough cop, and into baseball, Larry was into musical theater, dancing, and cabaret performances. He was always giving Shawn free singing lessons, and Gus free tap dancing tips much to Henry's chagrin.

"Shawn is in the hospital, I need to get up to Santa Barbara."

"Get your stuff, I'll get the car ready." He heard Larry saying in the background.

"I'll be down as soon as I can, Larry is going to drive me. I'm in San Francisco so I'll be there some time tomorrow morning."

"Oh great, just what we need Larry." responded Henry. Henry could never stand the guy, and from what Gus knew, it was with good reason. Even though Shawn's mother Maddie wasn't Larry's "type," around the time of the divorce, he had been instrumental in encouraging her to take a position in another city and leave home under the guise of experiencing the world. He had no consideration for the fact that he was wrecking Henry's family, and the damage it would do to all of them. Larry only cared about Larry.

"Is he okay, can I speak to him?" She asked.

They are doing tests on him right now, an MRI and then a catheterization."

Maddie's response was a simple, shocked "Oh."

After hanging up, she couldn't do much but shake, "They said things were fine, he was fine." was all she could say. She would have to go through it once again, to watch her son go through something so painful...

* * *

_1977_

_This didn't seem right, she thought as she and her husband brought their son into the pediatric pre surgical admissions department of the hospital._

_Her son had improved so much since the surgery six months earlier, his color was pink, and he was alive, happy, and active as any other baby, perhaps even a bit more so. No one would guess that he had a potentially fatal heart problem, and how sick he was in those first few weeks. She held him for a few minutes as he gummed his rattle._

_The nurse approached her, "We are going to sedate him before the echo, and the catheterization. Neither will hurt," she said as she started an IV on his small, fragile little hand. He began to scream, attempting to move his hand at the pinch of the IV. He then reached over and attempted to pull it out. She held him, rocking him back and forth "I know you want to cry Goose, I do too," she thought as he began to quiet down. The sedative was beginning to take effect. She put him down, something she hated to do._

_"We are going to take him now," said the nurse. She could see that her husband was apprehensive, she calmly told him, "He is in the best hands possible, he will be fine, nothing will go wrong." She hoped she was right. When she let go, he would be fine. Never in her life had she felt so helpless, so nervous. He was still so small, so fragile, how could they break his little chest open? Operate on his little heart?_


	8. Chapter 8

Lassiter escorted Juliet into her house. When Guster or Henry called back with an update he wanted to be there for his partner because he didn't expect the news to be good. In part because he was a cynic, and in part because over the past few months, Spencer's usual annoying energy and stamina seemed to be gradually decreasing. On crime scenes there was significantly less frantic running around like a ten-year-old with attention deficit disorder. It was frighteningly apparent at his wedding. He expected Spencer to be the life of the party, out on the dance floor ripping it up, a force to be reckoned with. But at the wedding Spencer was just tired, he did a tiny bit of dancing then left after having some type of a fight with O'Hara.

Truthfully he was starting to worry. After the case with the Swedish girl, he actually was thinking about saying something. If Spencer passed out on a crime scene, it would impede the investigation of the case and interfere with his doing his job properly.

When he was a rookie, and Henry Spencer was still on the force, he remembered some people in the department mentioning things about Shawn once being sick and everyone needing to raise funds to help the family out. But the Shawn Spencer he knew was such a hyperactive, annoying brat he simply dismissed the idea of him being a Make a Wish kid. Witnessing the entire brouhaha that took place when Henry Spencer arrested his son for grand theft auto he couldn't imagine a past where the kid was ill.

He didn't think about the issue of Spencer being sick again until three years ago when he stopped wearing t-shirts under flannel shirts revealing a huge scar on his chest. He wondered if there was a reason for it. Was he was doing it to get people's attention, in particular _his_ attention? Was he doing it for a particular investigation? Maybe it was some way of getting sympathy when they were investigating the murders of people on a list to receive organs? He didn't say anything about it, knowing how sneaky and manipulative Spencer could be. The scar was on his mind when he ordered Spencer to take a lie detector test. He wondered if there would be something strange and off about his pulse rate and blood pressure, and whether the father would say anything.

There was nothing strange and off about Spencer's vital signs, but the way he reacted. It wasn't his usual sense of snark. He clearly wasn't guilty of anything, and wasn't lying…maybe. But, he seemed pissed off and extremely uncomfortable at the idea of having a blood pressure cuff and pulse monitors on him. Yet, even then he didn't say anything about his past and the scar on his chest.

He secretly was wondering how Shawn would react if he were to not let him on a crime scene when the temperature outside went above ninety five degrees too dangerous for a person with a heart condition?

"I need to find socks," Juliet nervously said out loud as she searched through their bedroom. It wasn't neat, the bed was unmade and there was still a laundry basket on the floor besides the bed containing recently washed but unsorted socks and underwear. How could O'Hara put up with such chaos? In his apartment everything had its place socks needed to be sorted and put away in the designated sock drawer while they were still hot out of the dryer. Each morning as soon as he woke up the bed was made with hospital corners for the sheets and the blanket.

"Before the wedding he was down to reserve socks," Juliet said. That explained why a few days before the wedding Spencer was wearing the tackiest of the tacky socks, bright yellow ones designed to look like a pair of Converse All Star sneakers, and a pair that had sharks on them designed to look like they were eating his legs.

He walked over to the laundry basket, signaled for Juliet to do something else, and began to sort out socks which were similar to one another. He looked at one pair of argyle socks, "I had a pair just like them? Sweet justice, these are mine." He said noticing the pieces of blue yarn he used to keep his socks tied together when he washed them. He was the only one who did it. And he had recently noticed that he was running out of socks quicker than he should be. "How did Spencer manage to get into my socks?" He then found a pair with fake handgun holsters on them, also his. Then his precious t-shirt for winning the 2004 SBPD pistol shooting tournament. He never wore it, but kept it in his drawer as a souvenir. He wondered what other items of clothing Spencer had managed to get his paws on but, right now wasn't the time to be worrying. As O'Hara was folding some more of Spencer's shirts and sweatpants, he heard her phone ringing. "Its Gus, I have to get it," she said picking it up.

* * *

Gus walked into the stall of the men's room. He needed to get away from Henry who was quickly morphing into something frightening. Nowadays he was apprehensive when people around him began to act strangely. He didn't think that Henry would become murderous, but ever since the incident at Lassie's apartment with the plant, seeing people progressively get more and more agitated, frightened him.

He looked around making sure Henry had not followed him in. When he knew the coast was clear he quickly got his cell phone out. He touched the area of his screen for contacts found contact information. There was nothing worse than having to handle a smart phone with sweaty, slippery hands. It made him miss his old blackberry with buttons which made it easier to handle. He tapped the phone icon next to her phone number, and instead of going into the mode to send her a text, it went into the mode to call her. Before he could hang up, he heard Juliet's voice.

"Gus, what is going on? Lassiter and I are at my place, packing up stuff to bring him at the hospital, we should be there in about twenty minutes or so. How is he doing? Any new news?"

He hated to be the bringer of bad news again he had done this too many times today. He inhaled, and explained what was going on in expectation that Juliet would be a mess after the news. "How long do they say he'll be in the hospital for? I'm need to know how many pairs of underwear and sweatpants to bring?"

"About two to four days," responded Gus, "but if you are coming by the hospital, be warned Mr. Spencer is in a very bad mood and," he paused "uh, snapping at people. I have to go," he said his tone getting quiet as he heard footsteps coming into the bathroom. The last thing he wanted right now was to get caught by Henry, and he was a bit surprised that all Juliet seemed to care about was socks and pajamas.

As O'Hara put her phone back in her pocket Lassiter looked over, concerned. She looked at him."They are putting in a pacemaker now and in a few months he is going to need open heart surgery. He'll be in the hospital about three to four days and he doesn't have enough pairs of sweatpants. I may need to do another load of laundry."

"We can pick up some on the way to the hospital," he said as he lured her away from the hamper. "I think you have packed more than enough stuff." Juliet was about to exit the room but paused to take a teddy bear off the dresser. Stuffed animals were so pointless taking up space which could be used for something else in the well-organized apartment.

* * *

It was Shawn's first time in an MCI machine, and probably his last time considering what they would be doing to him. From what he knew once he was a cyborg and had an ICD MRI machines were off limits. If he went into one after they put it in there was a chance he could be cooked in one. Truth be told, how come they never did that in any horror movie? He could see a horror movie villain putting someone who had a metal plate in their head into an MRI machine then literally frying them in it.

Come to think of i he wondered whatever did happen to MCI? He hadn't heard about them since the early two thousands when everyone started getting cell phones which they never made. Were they one of the 10-10-321 companies?

Most people were afraid of these machines but he found it oddly fun, kind of like a strange ride at EPCOT in the mid-eighties. The bed automatically went back and held him in a vaguely uncomfortable position. Then there was just a nice, pleasant buzzing noise which for the moment he would sit back and enjoy. It did feel a bit strange to have all the fillings in his teeth vibrate. Would the fillings in his teeth cause the machine to explode? Spending time in this was less scary than the camera they would be inserting into his insides in a few minutes, so he decided to savor the peaceful MRI machine while he could. Someone on a microphone told him to breathe in and hold his breath, he calmly obliged. He sat for a few more minutes enjoying the buzzing until it was done and the magic bed wheeled him to the front of the machine.

The chubby female orderly who had been taking him around told him to scootch back onto the stretcher. It was probing time, when they would string a camera either through his thigh, or through his neck into his heart and the things surrounding his heart.

* * *

_1984_

_"Can I have one thing to eat? Just one can of pineapple?" He whined while looking at Henry. He was hungry and his father had not let him eat anything all day. He wasn't feeling like he was going to throw up, why couldn't he have anything to eat? Why did dad get so angry the night before when he was caught eating a fruit roll up. At least he didn't have to go to school yesterday, and today he had another whole day off from school because of the fruit roll up._

_"Sorry kid, you can't eat kid until after the procedure."_

_"I know dad, the capitalization..."_

_"We can give you a shot to make you go to sleep, or we could give you a mask," the doctor asked. He screamed and cried "I don't want a shot, give me a mask."_

_His father looked mad at the doctor. "What the hell is the matter with you, he is seven. He doesn't get to make the decision for himself." He cried so much that eventually they said they could just do it under something called conscious sedation as they wheeled him into the scary room, with scary lights and strange TVs._

_"Don't be scared, Shawn this is just a camera that is going to take a picture of your heart so the doctors will know what to do next week when you go to Los Angeles."_

_He laid back, and closed his eyes. He wasn't scared as he felt something going into his neck, as the machine continued beeping next to him. It felt a bit like a pin prick_

_"We're threading the camera through your neck, just sit still while we do this." He seemed to have fallen asleep when he looked up and there was a weird black and white image of a TV, and some type of wire. It looked gross, it was scary. The beeping machine started to get faster and faster, he felt funny and dizzy._

_The beep on the machine became one, long sustained beep. He started to feel floaty and could actually see himself on the table. There was some type of cup on his mouth, and the doctors were saying things about how they were losing him and to give him something called atropine._

_Suddenly everything was white, bright and floaty. There was some kind of strange big light around, like the sun only brighter. This place was so nice, warm, and comfy he never wanted to leave. A woman appeared, she looked kind of like Dad's mom from the pictures he had seen of his Dad and Uncle Jack when they were young at his grandfather's house. Also kind of like the lady on the soap opera his dad would always make him watch when he was home from school._

_She picked him up, hugged him, and then said "You shouldn't be here kid, now isn't your time, you have to go back."_

_What felt like a very long time later he was back in a hospital room, some type of tube going across his nose. "Goose, you are awake you scared us so much." said his mom, she sounded so happy. He was sleepy, too sleepy to tell mom and dad about the dream where he saw the nice lady. He would tell his parents about it some other time._


	9. Chapter 9

_It's catheterization time..._ Shawn thought to himself as they rolled him into the cardiac catheterization lab. They had him scootch off the gurney, then lie flat on the cold, hard, table.

It had been about twenty years since he had been in one of these rooms and they were still frightening as hell. All of the funky weird, mysterious lights, machines, and monitors threw off his keen sense of observation and scared the living crap out of him. Even worse than being in the room was knowing that they would soon give him some weird drug to make him forget everything that was going on. More than anything else he hated being without his memory.

It didn't help that this was the kind of room where he could practically visualize all kinds of scary horror movie villains carrying out their experiments. Experiments where he was poked and prodded with pointy things, all the while having no idea what was going on. For all he knew, Yin, Yang, or some other person he helped put away could sneak in and extract their revenge on him. He was completely helpless and there was nothing he could do.

He felt them covering him with some type of sheet, rubbing on a spot on his neck.

The anesthesiologist looked at him, while fiddling with his IV, "we are going to do this under conscious sedation okay? You'll be awake but completely out of it during the procedure. You'll also be able to respond to commands. You have nothing to worry about." Shawn could only nod in agreement as a pleasant sense of calmness quickly began to overtake him.

* * *

Gus paced back and forth in the waiting room anxiously. He was worried about what would happen to Shawn, but to be honest, at the moment he was more worried about what would happen when Juliet and Lassiter got there. He had no clue what to do and how he was going to handle Henry in the presence of Juliet. In fact if he had a chance to see Shawn quickly before Henry could he might have even said something. He was considering letting Henry attack him instead, and protect Juliet. But he was too nervous, and really didn't want Henry after him.

He then noticed Lassiter and Juliet walking in.

"Where is he? How is he doing?" Juliet asked Gus the concern now more apparent in her voice.

"They are doing a bunch of tests, a cardiac MRI and I think a catheterization where they string a camera through his heart. They found him a room on cardiology floor which they will be bringing him to after the tests are done."

"Nice of you to finally arrive O'Hara," said Henry, a sarcastic tone about his voice, his gaze piercing, a fact which did not go unnoticed by Lassiter.

Henry continued, "I don't give a damn what happens between you two, when he gets better, you can rot for all I care. But, right now, thanks to you, there is only so much he can take. He can't deal with any more stress. The last thing he should be worrying about now are his issues with you. I don't want him worrying that you are going to break up with him. I don't want him worrying that he has to move out of his home.

He paused noticing that Lassiter was now in protective mode, so he lowered his tone, "I don't want him to have to worry about losing his job. He is a good detective, and we both know well that the department has much bigger fish to fry. Whatever he has done, he hasn't hurt anyone, which is a heck of a lot more than what can be said for loads of people in the department." He glanced at his shoulder, the spot where he had been shot and had almost lost his own life. "Dirty cops get off with nothing after helping criminals, but my son, who has never hurt anyone, and has helped put numerous criminals away, loses his job, and could be prosecuted? What is the logic in that?"

Juliet acknowledged him, "There is no logic in it, and I won't turn him in, nor will I do anything to hurt him right now. . She paused, "But, what is going on between us Shawn and me, and frankly none of your business," She couldn't believe that Henry was blaming her for what happened.

"Its none of my business? Well then I just won't worry. Who cares if someone dies because of the stress you put them through? All that matters in the end is whether you are happy? Right?" He paused, not giving Juliet a chance to continue. "I won't fret over the fact that because of what you did my son is lying in a lab with a movie camera going through his veins, and will now need to have his sternum cracked open. Recovery from the surgery will only take six months out of his life if he survives the operation."

Gus came over, giving Henry a glance letting him know that he wasn't particularly happy. "I told you not to get involved in Shawn and Juliet's relationship! He'll find out, you'll just upset him. Do you want him to stop speaking to you?"

"No Guster that isn't what I want, but I don't need O'Hara making things worse." He then looked at Juliet again.

"You're a detective, I would assume that you should be smart enough to know that the scar on his chest probably isn't there because he was attacked by a dinosaur. You should have been a bit more careful about planting a note about nonstop exercise with a fake bomb on the elliptical machine of someone who has a heart condition. He or Guster should have said something and we would have nailed you for attempted murder. You should be rotting in prison for what you did, and are no better than Jerry Carp."

"Stop it Spencer," Lassiter interrupted, his tone becoming a bit more calm "Why would she try to kill him? Your kid is sick, I get it. You're angry, but think for a second about the consequences of your actions before you act."

"Consequences of my actions Lassiter? That is rich coming from you. You have no kids and have never had to be responsible for a god damn thing in your life. If only I could go crazy, try to kill my friends, then have a nice vacation in the psychiatric ward with no consequences whatsoever. For all the talk you do about being a law abiding citizen and how you are a perfect cop you went and married a convicted felon. How long until she starts asking you for favors? You are are on the same path as the rest of them." The look in Lassiter's eyes was pure rage, but he inhaled, and turned away, trying to comfort Juliet who was on the verge of tears.

Dr. Singh emerged and Henry turned his attention to her.

"The catheterization is finished, he is in recovery if you would like to see him you can."

* * *

Shawn found himself lying uncomfortably in a hospital bed, despite a pillow supporting his head, and a blanket covering him. There was some type of huge patch on his neck in the spot where vampires usually bit people in movies and on TV shows. He realized he wasn't dead from the steady beating of a monitor. There was also some type of plastic air thing across his nose and all kinds of tubes and lines sticking out of him. He felt a hand in his hand, "Jules?" he asked out loud, caressing it. He realized the hand was kind of wrinkled, and firm. Nothing like Juliet's. He quickly pulled back and looked up. "Dad? How did things go?" He tiredly asked.

"Everything went fine kid. You need to stay still for the next few hours, they threaded the thing through your neck this time."

"Have you heard from Jules?" Shawn gave his father a hopeful look.

"She and Lassiter are here, but only family are allowed in the recovery room." Henry quickly changed the subject before his son had time to notice that something was awry, "your mom and Larry are coming. She's had to come too many times this year."

Shawn smiled weakly. "You should have been more careful and not gotten yourself shot, you gave me too much to worry about."

Henry chuckled, guiltily. After he was shot, he should not have been depending on Shawn so much for little things. He himself should have realized how corrupt his former partners were, it was his responsibility, not his son's.

"Being shot is a piece of cake, I got through it in the end. Right now the only thing you need to focus on is getting better, nothing else matters." He kissed his son on the forehead, and walked out of the room. He wanted to know if Dr. Singh was ready to discuss the results of the test, and if they should even be shared with Shawn right now.


	10. Chapter 10

_Punching someone means misdemeanor assault, misdemeanor assault means demotion, demotion means Spencer wins, was a_ ll Lassiter could think about after when Henry Spencer had said to him.

He wanted to beat the crap out of the man. It was one thing to mention his attempt to kill Guster while unknowingly under the influence of something his neighbor had pumped into his apartment, but was another to insult his Marlowe, calling her a career criminal. To say that he was going to become a corrupt cop? That O'Hara was no better than Jerry Carp?

_Assault and battery could mean up to two years in prison_ , he repeated to himself again.

After this was said and done he needed a trip to the shooting range. He wondered who could print a picture of the elder Spencer to use as target practice? Anyways he shouldn't have been thinking that, he should have been helping O'Hara. He could tell that O'Hara was wrecked by this whole thing sitting and staring at the ground. A closer glance revealed that her eyes were starting to well up in tears. He knew that she hated crying and showing that type of emotion.

"He had no right to say that to you. Shawn will be okay," he said as he hugged her. He hasn't seen her this bothered since the clock tower incident a few years ago.

Just then he saw the elder Spencer walking out and tried not to make eye contact. Upon his giving O'Hara what Shawn always said was the evil glance of doom, she lunged towards him. Lassiter did best to hold her back and prevent her from doing something rash while angry. Fortunately he was unsuccessful at holding her back and she did exactly what he was thinking about doing, decking Spencer. The old guy seemed quite surprised, but just walked away afterwards not even trying to fight back or say something

Right afterwards in a state of shock, she sauntered out towards Lassiter's car, attempting to compose herself as she retrieved Shawn's stuff.

Juliet walked into Shawn's hospital room with a bag containing various pieces of clothing she had packed up for him, along with a giant stuffed teddy bear. Shawn had given it to her after winning a target shooting game at a local carnival. It was supposed to be hers, but he needed it more right now. On the way back from the car she had miraculously managed to compose herself. The last thing she wanted was Shawn getting wind of the fight which had taken place in the waiting room. She knew how difficult rebuilding the relationship with his father had been how repairing the bridge had taken a long time. She worried about how Shawn would react to seeing his father with a black eye, but right now that was Henry's problem, not her's.

Seeing Shawn lying in the hospital bad was a bit of a shock, she wasn't expecting him to look quite so bad. His face was pale, and frighteningly swollen, a nasal cannula going across. He looked at her, his hazel eyes obviously fatigued from the events of the day, "Jules, you broke my heart," he told her, his voice softer than usual.

She paused, and couldn't help but smile, "I know lame joke," he sleepily responded. As she got closer to him, he took her arm, and kissed the top of her hand. He then grabbed the rest of her arm and made his best attempt to snuggle it. She took her shoes off and carefully laid down by the opposite side of the IV grabbing him in her arms. He cuddled up beside her, his cheek resting on hers, his hand in her hand. She desperately wanted to tell him everything would be okay, but couldn't say the words. She simply held him, as he closed his eyes, content to be in her embrace. She ran her fingers through his thick hair, which was slightly sweaty, but she didn't care. He just seemed so calm and relaxed.

After a few minutes she could tell from his breathing that he had fallen asleep. There was an announcement over the intercom about visiting hours being over. She maneuvered herself as quietly as she could so that she wouldn't wake him, and moved his hand to a more comfortable position on the bed, putting it around the teddy bear. She slipped her feet back into her shoes, made sure the blanket was more snugly around him before she tip toed towards the door, having one look at the calm expression on his face as he slept.

She sat down in the waiting room burying her face in her hands. This is something she had never prepared for, dealing Shawn being ill, and the fallout from it.

She had absolutely no clue what to do. Henry probably wanted Shawn at his house, but in Henry's house getting from the living room to where any of the beds were required going up a full flight of stairs, something which now was likely going to be an issue for Shawn. In comparison her place was better, it was a split level with only a few steps to get from the door to the living room and from the deck into the backyard. The queen size bed with brand new pillows, blankets was also a plus for Shawn. But, it was still was _her_ place, and she was still not sure where he was going to be in _her_ life.

It was bad enough that he lied to her about being psychic, but lying to her about his chest scar being due to a fire when he was seven? Not telling her that he had a potentially fatal heart condition? After all of this, if she stayed with him after what he did to her, he would be a big responsibility. Having to help care for him? Taking him to numerous doctor's visits? Shawn never did sick well, so how was she going to be the happy and upbeat one in the relationship? How was she going to deal with coming home and have him moping on the couch, still in pajamas at five in the afternoon for months on end?

In a lot of ways this entire predicament was Shawn's fault. He should have told her straight up about why he had a scar on his chest in the first place. He should have just told her that it was fixed, and that she didn't need to worry. Then she could have scolded him, and told him to go to the doctor. Maybe if she had known what could have happened she would have been more careful, and more considerate? If he had only told her the truth about what was going on.

And Henry, up until now she'd considered him mean, but never potentially abusive. But now, the glares he was giving her, the things he said to her, how could he accuse of her of trying to _kill_ Shawn? She had her issues with him, but to kill him? Why would she do that? Why would Henry think of her as such a horrible person? Somehow this entire mess was her fault?

He was an angry guy, but now she was going to be the object of his anger. Frankly, knowing his personality she was afraid of him. He always did seem like the guy who could lose his cool, and hurt her. Who knows what kinds of things he did to Shawn during his childhood? There were quite a few men on the force like that, especially among Henry's generation, and there was an unspoken rule not to interfere in their marriages.

Anything that went wrong in his life, he was going to find some way of blaming it on her. And in some sick, sadistic way he probably enjoyed having excuses to get angry at her, to start fights with her. He was going to be an angry, cantankerous, force of nothing but negativity the rest of her time with Shawn. Soon the unfavorable comparisons of her to Shawn's other girlfriends would start. Then there would be the constant hints that a break up would be best.

Juliet sighed heavily, she couldn't dump Shawn now, she couldn't kick him out when he was seriously ill. It was a mean thing to do, and he still did love her... and she still had feelings for him. Despite the lies, despite the illness, she would stick around and stay in his life _for now_. Besides, eventually he was going to notice his father's black eye. When he found out the reason why he had it, he was going to be angry at his father, and would need a place to stay. She could always sleep in the guest room, or on the sofa if she needed to. She had a feeling that with Shawn sick at her place, they would be getting loads of guests as well.

Gus still nervously sat in the waiting room. He still had no clue what to do. Shawn needed a pacemaker, or the thing that was a step up from a pacemaker, an ICD. How badly would Rebecca aka Becky Beetus react if he were to call her? On his rounds as a pharmaceutical representative, he often went to different doctors' offices, the same ones as Becky. She worked for a company, ElectroMed, which made insulin pumps, pacemakers, implantable cardiac defibrillators, mechanical valves, and other things which made people into cyborgs. She often flaunted the fact that she used one of their insulin pumps herself.

She was a great girl, an activist for the cause of diabetes, but she always wanted to do lunch, and he could never say no. It was just painful eating lunch with her. He knew that it was extremely important that she check her blood sugar, but he almost fainted whenever she did. The blood, it was a bit much for him, but he did need to get over his fear. In some sick way she seemed enjoy torturing him with it.

What made him more nervous is wondering how his Blackapella band mate Tony and occasional band mate/brother of Tony; Drake, would respond to his calling their little cousin. They were always so overprotective of her when she had always proven that she could more than take care of herself.

He took out his work phone, searched for Becky's number and dialed. He hoped that she would answer and be somewhat sympathetic.

"Burton Guster? Didn't expect you to be calling after hours." She cheerfully answered. "How are you doing?"

"Not so great, a friend of mine is in the hospital with arrhythmias and other issues related to a congenital heart defect he thought was fixed when he was young. His dad is blaming the whole thing on his girlfriend who will be coming soon I'm in the middle trying to keep the peace."

"That sucks. When emergencies happen, a family should come together, but very often it doesn't and it always makes it even harder for everyone involved." She sympathized, her tone still managing to be upbeat and friendly.

"I called Pooja Singh when this first happened. She said he is going to need an internal cardiac defibrillator, or pacemaker, and most likely more open heart surgery, but for information and advice on pacemakers and stuff I thought I should talk to you."

"Did the doctor explain the difference between the two to you?"

"She did, but I was wondering if you would be able to fix me up with something. I really want him to have the best… he is a great friend to me. I can't let anything happen to him." His tone was getting emotional.

"I'll help, if you want I can come by now."

"I don't know if now would be good, he is pretty worn out now with everything that's happened."

"Burton, it sounds like you could use a break, not to mention a shoulder. I'm just finishing up something now, and I'll be at the hospital as soon as possible. We can go and have coffee or something as you unwind. "

"Thanks," is all he could say. He was too shocked to try to do anything else. There was a pang of guilt that she probably was going to take him to the diner for dessert, while he was still in a relationship with Rachel.

Rachel and Max were returning from England tomorrow, but in two months they would be going there for another six weeks. He loved Rachel, and he loved Max, but in the pit of his stomach, he knew things wouldn't last. Rachel was still too in love with her ex, and Max's father. With Shawn sick, he really didn't want to be worrying about a long distance relationship, and 'she loves me, she loves me not' drama. Maybe Shawn would be relieved if he wasn't in a relationship, and going through something like this.

He saw Juliet in the waiting room. She looked up as he approached, "he is asleep now, I think we should call it a night."

Not having seen Shawn since before all the tests, Gus quietly made his way down the hallway towards his buddy's room. He opened the door to find that the light was off, and Shawn in the bed with his eyes closed. He went to tip toe out, but Shawn stirred. "Dude if you see Lassie, I know he is here, could you ask him for his earplugs? He keeps some in the glove compartment of his car for when he goes to the shooting range." Gus smiled and left the room.

When he found Lassie and Juliet in the parking lot Gus timidly asked, "he wants your earplugs. He says you have a pair in the glove compartment."

Lassie opened up the glove compartment, and handed Gus a set of earmuffs, and ear plugs. "Take them," he told Gus.

Gus brought them back to Shawn, who seemed to just want to sleep, "I got these for you, see you tomorrow." He told Shawn, who gave him a weak smile then closed his eyes with a content sigh upon putting the plastic earmuffs on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: At the beginning of this fic I wrote a scene where because of a home birth, a congenital heart defect was missed. I am sorry to anyone who I accidentally offended by writing this.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: No, this hasn't been abandoned, had a busy, cold, depressing winter. I hate to beg, but if you like this fic, and want it updated sooner, please leave a review. The reason I make an effort to write down my stories is because I want reviews. I know I could still write if I didn't get reviews, but if a tree falls and no one hears hears it?

Lassiter angrily sauntered into his apartment after dropping off O'Hara and making sure she was okay. Henry Spencer's words were still plaguing his mind. His new wife, Marlowe bounced to the door "Honey Bear you're finally home. How is Shawn doing?" She asked greeting him, her question followed by an affectionate peck on the cheek.

Her affection, however, didn't do much to change his sour mood as he turned towards his computer desk, "not great. Shawn needs to be in the hospital another few days." He quickly went to Facebook, and then pressed control P to print out Henry Spencer's Facebook picture. The page that came out had lines through it.

"What happened to the toner in the printer? I just got a new cartridge last month," Lassiter almost whined.

"I needed to print out some things for Adrian's hearing." Marlowe explained sheepishly. "Just go down to the station, and take one, they have plenty of printer cartridges there."

"What?," he looked at her in disbelief at the suggestion, "I could get fired, or demoted if I got caught stealing office supplies. Everything is accounted for there, even the staples. And I told you not to use my printer for your brother's defense, you aren't his lawyer."

Marlowe quickly changed the subject, noting what her husband was attempting to print, "why do you want to use Henry Spencer's face for target practice? Something happen between you two?"

"The son of a bitch is blaming Shawn's heart problems on poor O'Hara who has done nothing wrong. When I tried to defend her, he said was on my way to becoming a corrupt cop. The rat bastard called you a career criminal and said that I was wrong for marrying you, can you believe that? He even went as far as to compare me to the guy who shot him!" He took a deep breath through his nose. "The range is open late tonight, if you want I can sneak you in if you're up for it."

He probably should not have told his wife what Henry had said. He didn't want another woman taking a swing at Henry. The look on his wife's face was pure anger.

"Why did you have to get involved? What did you expect would happen? Earlier this year he was shot by someone he thought was his friend, now he has to deal with his son having heart problems and being in the hospital. Can't you just ignore him? Not judge him based on his actions when someone in his family is sick." His wife pleaded, "not get angry at what someone does when circumstances drive them crazy? It isn't as if he killed someone." She paused, her tone becoming even more sympathetic to Spencer's side of things. "People do insane things when family members are ill, I know that all too well. By the way my, brother is doing fine. He could use some toothpaste and I gave him your electric razor."

"You gave him my razor without my permission?"

"In the facility where he is, they can only use regular blades. If he shaves with a regular blade, he cuts himself and  
bleeds all day. He needed to look his best for his next court appearance, so I let him have yours. You can pick up another one at CVS on your way to work."

"I'll do that, thanks for letting me know," Lassiter responded, it took everything in him not to tell her that she has no right to steal his things and give them to her no good brother. But, it was early in the marriage, and he had enough trouble with Henry Spencer today, another fight with Marlowe would be too much for him. He would pick up a razor at CVS tomorrow.

Matters regarding her brother were always a sore spot, the man was a murderer, but there were extenuating circumstances surrounding his crime. When he killed a person, he was desperate for a blood transfusion, and didn't have insurance.

Lassiter had vowed to stay out of it, and not let the issue, including the trial have an effect on their marriage, but as time passed it was getting harder and harder. Adrian's court appointed attorney was good, but Marlowe was still doing all kinds of legal research to do what she could to help, much to his chagrin.

Marlowe then handed Lassiter his cell phone, "You are going to apologize to Henry. Tell him you should have stayed out of it, whatever is happening is between him, Shawn, and Juliet. You stay out of it."

"I'm not going to apologize, Spencer was the one who attacked O'Hara! He is the one who is out of his mind!"

"It doesn't matter who was right and who was wrong, fighting isn't going to help Shawn get any better. You didn't have to listen to any of what he said. Apologize, or we won't have any fun tonight." She gestured towards the bedroom, and lifted the back of her skirt to reveal a "Just Married," G-String. "And I was looking so forward to consummating our marriage. I would hate to not have to do that tonight because you were being an ass."

Lassie begrudgingly picked up his phone. He hated false apologies, he hated being told he was a corrupt cop, but if he didn't apologize tonight, his new wife would be upset., and the last thing he wanted to do was ruin another marriage. It was one thing to be divorced once, but he didn't want to be a guy who was twice divorced.

Henry sat back in his hauntingly quiet living room, nursing his Guinness, and holding a raw steak to his eye. Gus was right, the moment Shawn saw his black eye he would know what was going on, and would do what he could to push him out of his life again. He needed time to reflect and perhaps unwind. By getting so angry at Juliet and Lassiter, he was going to upset Shawn, at a time when Shawn couldn't take any more stress. He dug himself into this hole, and he needed to dig himself out.

He had fences to mend with Juliet, and Lassiter. Juliet's assaulting him was still wrong, especially for a fellow officer. There should consequences, and there would be consequences, but that wasn't important right now.

Right now the only thing he could do was unwind, sleep, and at least try not to worry. Tomorrow he had a lot of work to do, Shawn needed him more than ever.

His cell phone rang, it was Lassiter. He hoped it wasn't anything more in anger. Not knowing how to reject a message on an iPhone he accidentally, and awkwardly answered.

Before he could say anything Lassiter started speaking.

"I apologize, I shouldn't have said anything. Whatever happened was between you and O'Hara."

It sounded like the phone had dropped as the voice on the other end changed as Lassiter's new wife, Marlowe got on the phone. "Mr. Spencer, I'm so sorry to hear about Shawn, if there is anything you need I'll help out. Also, if you are on the third floor of the hospital, the vending machine doesn't work. There is a great cafe across the street, most frequent flyers hang out there. Tell Lenny you are a friend of the Vincenco's and you'll get unlimited Riccota Balls."

"Thanks," replied Henry, a hint of relief in his voice. It was good that Lassiter was apologizing. It was one less thing for him to worry about, and he appreciated it.


	12. Chapter 12

Gus walked down the hospital corridor feeling tired, yet anxious about what was going on with Shawn and everyone else. His sympathetic crier's radar was on full alert as he peered into each hospital room where people were spending time with their sick loved ones. Why did hospitals have to be such depressing, dreary places? -They were even more depressing on only one hour's sleep. The night beforehand he lost track of time at the diner while deep in conversation with Becky, and ended up staying there until 2:00 AM Then at 5:00 AM he had to pick up Rachel and Max from the airport.

He passed the nursing station where he spotted Henry, who still had a black eye from last night's events. Gus quietly walked around, trying his best not to get Henry's attention. He thought he was in the clear, but then it was obvious that he had made eye contact. Not being good at avoiding people he had to ask, "how are you doing this morning?" his tone nervous.

"How do you think I'm doing? Worried as hell about him." He said as he paced the hallway. "I don't want to see me because it is going to take him a half a second to figure out why I have a black eye."

"You don't have to tell him," responded Gus dismissively as he opened the door to Shawn's room. "It's better if he doesn't know anyway."

In the hospital room Shawn was in in bed. looking not much better than he had yesterday. His face was pale and there were bags under his eyes, A huge, yellow bracelet with black writing was now on his wrist.

"Fall risk?" Gus asked, he had never seen something quite like it before, it just looked so silly.

"Can't get out of bed, not even to pee," Shawn said gesturing to the catheter coming from under the blanket leaking yellow liquid. "Also as of now, can't laugh. Laughing gets my heart rate up too much, so I shouldn't be doing too much of it until..." he paused frowning. "So if I make jokes, stop me."

"Until?" responded Gus.

"Until they make me a cyborg some time tomorrow, hopefully I'll enjoy the cyborg life." Shawn sighed, the depression evident in his face. "They say it won't hurt."

"It won't," Gus said attempting to lighten the mood as he opened the box Rachel had brought back from England. In it contained three boxes of British sweets he had always been curious to try, Jammie Dodgers, shortbread cookies with jelly in the middle, Jelly Babies which were like sour patch kids only not as sour, and his favorite Jaffa Cakes, cakes covered in chocolate, with some flavor of orange jelly between the top of the cookie and the chocolate. There was also a box with Max's handwriting, " _For Shawn only, Gus don't open it!"_

This is for you Shawn, he said as he handed it to him, Shawn slowly and clumsily opened it, "Dude he gave me Iron Man," he said holding up a plastic Iron Man action figure. There was a handwritten note enclosed:

_Since you're getting an Arc Reactor, I am giving you all my Iron Man toys, you are going to be just like him. P.S, don't see Iron Man 3 you won't like the ending._

 

"Aww," Gus responded, "And he did get to see Iron Man 3 a week before anyone else. They released it early in the UK."

"That Becky chick who came by before you got here is kind of cute," Shawn paused raising an eyebrow, "She has beetus, like that girl in those books."

"Those books," he paused, "do you mean The Babysitter's Club? When did you read those?" He gave Shawn an accusatory glance.

"Uh," Shawn responded, as he suddenly remembered when he had read those books.

"You book thief! Do you know how much trouble my sister got me in? We were about to go to Jamaica for Christmas Break in 1987, and she went totally ballistic after she found that the books she had reserved for five hours of plane reading were gone."

"Well, I wasn't the one who stole them from her?" Shawn shot back.

"I hadn't stolen them Shawn, I borrowed them. I was going to give them back she night before the trip, I couldn't sleep so I ended up staying up all night reading C _laudia and the Phantom Phone Calls_ and _The Truth About Stacey._ Now I remember, you came over in the morning and tried to pack yourself into my suitcase, I should have known. I should have realized that was the case when they mysteriously returned a week after we got back, the pages all had Cheez Doodle residue, and chocolaty finger prints on them."

Shawn responded, "You got me, I couldn't help myself, I had a thing for Claudi Kishi, and Kristy Thomas. I wanted to start an all boys Babysitter's Club and that would have been my guide. You so would have been my Mary Ann!"

Gus tsked and his phone began to ring, so he stepped outside. In the hall immediately caught the attention of Henry, who was now giving him what Shawn deemed the evil glare of doom.

"Why are you giving him cookies and cake? Why not nachos? Popcorn laden with butter? His cholesterol is already through the roof, why not try to see just how high you can raise it? Would you give an alcoholic vodka if they were in the hospital? Oxy to someone in rehab? Don't you realize that he can't eat crap like that anymore?"

Gus quickly moved to close the door to Shawn's room so that Shawn wouldn't have a chance to see what was happening with his father.

"He is a grown ass man, he chose to eat it." He had to admit that Henry was making him feel guilty. "And the reason he's sick has nothing to do with cholesterol and plaque in his arteries."

"Gus," Henry sighed exasperatedly, "I've been dealing with this for thirty seven years, don't you think I know that already? I'm not an idiot. Both of us don't have to worry nearly as much as he does. Either of us can eat all the crap we want. We can go to the gym, and work it off. If you or I have a coronary, we'll have a chance, it won't be open heart surgery number four. If he gets one he is toast, and I lose my son."

Gus thought to himself about how Henry was _literally_ becoming the food police, but maybe he was right. Maybe this should be a catalyst for a change, for both of them?

He turned to Henry, "Fine. I'll let you approve of what I bring him from now on," Henry gave him a satisfied look, "But I need coffee, like _now_." He was about to turn away, when he saw Madeline, and her friend Larry.

"Larry," Gus said excitedly as he did a demonstration of a shuffle step for the older man, "long time no see, how are you?"

"Oh my Gus, you've grown up! You look fabulous. Are you still dancing?" He asked as he hugged Gus, "I wish we could have met under better circumstances."

"I practice once in awhile, but I got into chemistry when I was in college. I'm now a rep for Central Coast Pharmaceuticals, and moonlight as a private eye."

"You should have been a dance major, you are so talented."

Gus carefully stepped away, seeing the look Henry was giving him, "I'll catch up with you later, I didn't sleep much last night and if I don't get caffeine I'll fall asleep on the floor." he said as he slipped away.

* * *

As Gus ran towards the cafeteria, he felt a friendly tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see that Larry was following him.

The man asked, "I don't claim to be Psychic, but from the way you were running and the expression on your face I'm guessing that Henry has been on the war path?"

Gus nodded, his tone still defeated ."He flipped out on Shawn's girlfriend,Juliet last night, blaming her for all that happened."

"What, he is blaming this on Shawn's girlfriend? "

"Right now he is on me for giving Shawn junk food. He was right though, I should have thought before bringing him unhealthy food."

"Don't blame yourself and don't listen to him, when things get touchy, one could count on Henry to lash out at everyone and everything. No matter what you do at this point, he'll find an excuse to turn it into something to be angry over. Just be happy you are not stuck married to him."

Gus paused uncomfortably, "I guess that, I still need coffee. I'll see you later," he said as he continued towards the cafeteria.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I'm afraid to label a chapter of a fanfic "Chapter Thirteen" because I'm superstitious and thirteen is bad luck. Chapter fourteen will be coming very soon, please enjoy this interlude in the meantime.

"Gus, you should come out to Dave and Buster's tonight, what else would be keeping you in on a Saturday night?" Shawn asked his friend.

"I have to organize my apartment... it's uh, apartment organization night," Gus dismissively responded, hoping Shawn didn't know what he was up to.

"You know that thirteen is bad luck. If you were writing a fanfic, I would never upload chapter thirteen," he said as he looked at Gus. Gus was beginning to cower.

"Shawn, have you been reading my Harry Potter West Wing crossover? I've been working on it since 2000, and I post one chapter per year," Gus shot back.

"Yes, you post one chapter per year. Most of your readers were probably born the year you started it. Your fanfic is going to be hitting puberty any day now. Its voice is going to be changing, and its going to be exploring the Dark Side of Harry Potter. It is time for Yoda to pop out and start giving his sage advice?"

Gus attempted to argue, "Yoda is from Star Wars, not Harry Potter, Shawn. You should know that."

Shawn shot back, "but if it's a fanfic why can't you just write Yoda in? It is a crossover isn't it?"

"You can't cross Harry Potter and Star Wars over with each other. The Force and Wizarding Magic are contradictory." Gus said trying to debate a Shawn who wasn't listening.

"Perhaps I could write chapter thirteen for you?" suggested Shawn.

"You don't know anything about Harry Potter," Gus responded, his tone starting to get angry. "Never try to write a Harry Potter fanfic without having read all of the books twice, preferably using the UK versions."

Shawn interrupted, "but there is nothing wrong with an AU, one where Fang eats Alan Rickman, and that dude with the snake face. The B plotline will be the budding relationship between Crookshanks and Mrs. Norris. They have a little boy cat named Toonsies who is one of the first cats to attend Hogwarts."


	14. Chapter 14

_1994_

_"Where were you? Do you realize how important this appointment is?" Henry shouted through the window of his truck._

_"Obviously I was at Gus's house," Shawn nonchalantly responded, "I didn't know that you were showing up to pick me up from my play date," his tone was sarcastic. He was seventeen, way too old for his father to be chasing him around like he was a little kid._

_"I paged you two times, and you didn't get back to me Shawn! do you know how much per month I spend on that thing? When I page you, you call me back!"_

_Shawn shrugged, "Gus was doing something with his computer, and when Gus uses the computer to play on the American Line with some child prodigy, no one could use the phone at his house."_

_He rolled his eyes as he got into the truck and looked his dad, "Have you ever considered that having to wear a wire may interfere with the homing device?" He had been tempted to take the battery out of his pager, and put it into his Walkman, but several girls from his baking class thought that having a pager was cool. He gave them all his pager number, and hoped that when the thing went off it was one of the girls trying to contact him. A pager was actually a cool electronic accessory, unlike the halter monitor, which was the uncoolest of uncool accessories._

_All week before the big doctor's appointment, he had to wear the strange contraption under his shirt. The little suction cups attached to various pulse points, with glue, and the battery pack at the bottom made him self conscious especially when a freshman girl in his baking class noticed, and asked him if he was wearing a wire as part of doing undercover police work like Brenda on General Hospital._

_"The halter monitor isn't going to interfere with the pager," his father said dismissively changing the subject. "Your mother is already at the doctor's office. She told me she was going there directly after work and we're going to meet her there."_

_Shawn carefully reached into his backpack, found a package of Gushers fruit snacks, then carefully tried to grab one as the car stopped at a stoplight._

_"No eating today, they're doing a blood test and they need to know what your fasting blood sugar level is." His dad looked at him out of the corner of his eye, as if gauging his reaction. "They also might want to do a catheterization."_

_"I thought today was just the day when they tell me if I'm having a boy or a girl, no delivery room?"_

_"You never know what they're going to find, so you should be prepared for the worst." Henry grumbled nervous that his son probably had not fasted. "And I hope you kept that thing on. It was still on last night the last I saw."_

_"Yes I did dad," Shawn responded dismissively. He suddenly couldn't wait for his eighteenth birthday, and his freedom as well._

Present

Maddie anxiously paced the hallway outside of Shawn's room. After hearing about Shawn's hospitalization Larry insisted on driving down to Santa Barbara from San Francisco, which took most of the night. She tried to sleep on the trip, but she was too worried about what was happening with Shawn.

Was luck that her travel plans to be in Auckland had been canceled because of bad weather? What kind of luck leads to your son being in the hospital, she thought to herself.

She stopped in her tracks upon noticing her ex husband's eye. "What did you say to Juliet?" Juliet was the only person she could think of who could have gotten away with socking Henry. She angrily paused, and then took a deep breath. "Actually I really don't want to know what you said to her," her tone caustic. Having to deal with her ex husband being angry was bad, having to deal with him on no sleep and with her son in the hospital was worse.

Henry had his moments of anger when he had no control of a situation. He got mad at something minor, lashed out, which made the focus of his anger do something they'd regret, and then everything was their fault for doing it. Nothing was ever his fault. She had spent too much of her life playing that game, and was able to see it from a mile away. He was never the bad one. He almost always made other people be the bad one, and act as if he were the wronged party.

Her ex husband nervously took a deep breath and seemed to have bitten his lip, "I made a mistake, and said some things I shouldn't have to Juliet. She overreacted, but it was my fault."

"You probably deserved it," she said dismissively. Now was not time to be listening to her husband's excuses, she thought as she started to turn away. She was her to see her sick son, not to clean up the messes created by her ex husband's temper. Having Shawn sick was bad enough, but having Henry doing things to worry Shawn and make him angry was far worse.

A defensive Larry interrupted. "Wow Henry, now that you've managed make everyone in your life run to every corner of the world; Maddie, Shawn, and even your own little brother, it is time to start going after the people in your son's life. Chase his girlfriend away while he is in the hospital." He gave a fuming Henry a sarcastic admiring look. "What an ingenious thing only the great Henry Spencer could think up! Next, don't forget to make sure to do the same with his best friend Gus by pointing out every little thing he has done wrong. You can't have a happy family, you need your son to be just as miserable and angry as you have always been."

Henry gazed angrily at Larry. "You shut up! Don't forget that you played a part in ruining his entire life. If it weren't for you he would be on the force. Maybe he would have gone to college!"

"Well, you were the one who made sure he had an adult record for something he did at seventeen. How could you be callus enough to throw your own son in jail? " Larry's shot back attempting not to make a scene in a hospital. "Thought you would teach him a nice lesson? The only thing that mattered was Shawn becoming a cop. It isn't as if he had any musical talent? You are lucky that he came back into your life. If you were my father, I would have changed my last name."

It took virtually all of Henry's willpower not to throttle Larry, throw him against a wall and knock some sense into him.

While Larry was dealing with Henry, Maddie made her way into her son's room.

"Goose," she said as she walked into the hospital room, shocked to see her son looking so weak and frail. His hair was now a mess, and their were bags under his eyes, not to mention the fact that he was on nasal oxygen and a number of IVs.

"I came as soon as I heard," she said as she kissed him on the forehead. His response was a tired smile, as he settled in the bed. This shouldn't be happening, she thought to herself. They were at the point where their son should have been coming to see them in the hospital. What she would not have given to have switched places.

"Dad is doing a bad job trying to not to see me. What did he say to Jules?" He looked her in the eye in expectation of something honest.

She paused, unsure of how what to say, although, knowing her son, her half a second of delaying things gave her answer away.

"I don't know honey, all I know is that she gave him a black eye." Shawn's expression at the news was a mix of concern and puzzlement. Probably worried about how badly his father had treated Juliet for her to punch him in the face. "

"I'm sure he had it coming," She said in her best attempt to lighten the situation.

She still wasn't quite sure what to say. Her son was observant, but at this point it was better for him not to know what was going on behind the scenes, the less he knew the better. She was wrong when she thought the days of hiding fights from a sick child were behind her.

She broke from her musings as the monitors hooked to Shawn seemed to be going faster, which from her years of experience she knew weren't a good sign. At that moment her son's eyes seemed to roll back into his head, as the cardiac monitor began to speed up even more. A nurse ran in, and said something about v-tack, as a team of doctors and nurses rushed in and ushered her out.

The only thing she could do is stand outside and watch helplessly as the doctors and nurses worked on her son, trying to save his life.


End file.
